


Glimpses from the Fourth Dimension

by BrusselsSprout



Series: Season 5 Stories [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5x05, 5x06, 5x07, 5x08, 5x10, 5x11, 5x12, 5x13, 5x14, 5x15, 5x16, 5x18, 5x19, 5x22, Angst, Banter, CryoFitz, Deke POV, Deke and Fitz, Drabbles, F/M, Fitz POV, Fluff, Gen, Humour, Jemma POV, Loop, Missing Scenes, Multiverse, Romance, Smut, fitzsimmons family, fragments, s5, season 5, zephyr - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-03-01 16:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13298757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrusselsSprout/pseuds/BrusselsSprout
Summary: One-shots, missing scenes and short drabbles for Season 5 connected through space-timeEach chapter is a standalone story. Love to hear your thoughts."There is no future. There is no past. It just is." FitzSimmons centric, though other characters appear too.Trigger warnings / smut warning (if applicable) will be added to each chapter summary.New:Chapter 16 - The story of Fitz and the Zephyr - from his childhood all through to S6 - Fitz's POVChapter 17 - Coda  - I little snippet to close / break the loop





	1. Working on It (T; FitzSimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes around Rewind (5x05).
> 
> Trying to fill the gaps on how Fitz got from the state of post-Framework utter shock to proposing in 5x06.  
> Jemma's POV - a missing conversation that takes place during the drive to the diner.  
> Fitz's POV - during his time in the prison

Fitz sat in the far back seat of the van, sinking into the corner as far as he could and stared out the window. Jemma watched him with concern; he was clearly still in shock. Her analytical brain pushed the surreal pictures of her stabbing his LMD's neck or him standing over her with a gun into the box labelled "nightmares" and shut the lid on them. Fitz, _her Fitz_ – the awkward, heroic scientist, the sweet man she's known for over a decade - was back, they were together and that was all that mattered. Everything else was fixable.

Still, she has never seen him so broken, not even after he woke up from his coma unable to speak. As they had spent the day working side by side, frantically trying to save Mack and Yoyo and figure out a plan to trick AIDA, he avoided talking to her or even looking her in the eye. She wanted to reassure him, to take some of his pain away, but she had no idea where to start.

She took a deep breath, slid in the car, right next to him and hesitantly put her hand on his. He froze for a moment under her touch, then after a few moments of hesitation he opened his palm and interlaced his fingers with her. He kept looking out the window into the darkness.

Still it was progress, Jemma thought. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the hum of the engine that drowned out the lively conversation in the front. She had the overwhelming feeling that she had to say something, but where can you start untangling the threads of different lives, different realities? Before the whole nightmare scenario in the Framework played out, she wanted to tell him about her conversation with the LMD. She wanted to tell him that she was ready to get married and in fact, wanted it for some time now. But under the circumstances, it did not feel right to add to the guilt he was already struggling with.

After some hesitation, she finally said quietly, "Our future is not dead."

At first she was not sure if he heard her, but after a moment Fitz slowly turned his head and looked at her startled. Then he asked in a raw voice "You heard that?"

She nodded. "There is no problem we cannot solve when we are working on it together."

"Those things… I said and did – they cannot be just unsaid and undone." he replied, his voice full of pain.

"Fitz, it's not really your fault. You heard the others, nobody blames you." Then she added looking straight in his eyes. "I don't blame you."

"How can you not, Jemma?" he asked on a flat voice, he tore away his eyes and stared at their intertwined hands.

"Because I know exactly who you are, even if right now you don't quite know it yourself. And whatever happens, I won't give up on us. Will you work with me?"

Fitz looked back at her with tears glimmering in his eyes and nodded.

Jemma smiled at him "Then we'll find the way." He smiled back faintly and squeezed her hand.

The car pulled up to the diner and Jemma let out a relieved sigh. "I'm famished." she announced to the others gleefully.

 

**Blue Raven Ridge – Military Black site**

**Day 1**

Fitz collapsed on the bed exhausted. He lost track of time – he had no idea if the questioning by the military lasted an hour or a day. All of it – the team's sudden disappearance, his arrest, the relentless interrogation bled together into a looming shadow. Still looking around the tiny cell, it somehow felt right. Sins should have consequences, and he was being punished for what he did. All his life he was terrified that people would keep abandoning him. And because of this fear, he unleashed suffering on the ones he cared about most. It was fitting that his punishment would be to be alone – with him – with the dark shadow in his head.

He closed his eyes and immediately he saw Jemma's eyes and heard her voice. " _You have to work with me, Fitz. We could be hurt, we could be in danger."_

 _"What could I possibly do, Jemma? I belong in here."_ he muttered quietly.

_"You'll find a way, Fitz. You always do._

**Day 3**

Fitz stepped back to admire the monkey he drew on the wall.

 _"It looks like a capuchin."_ he heard her voice and turned around. Jemma was standing in the corner, smiling at him.

"It is a bonobo, Jemma." He said out of reflex, but then caught himself. " _No, not this… I cannot do this again. We both know you don't really exist."_ he sighed. " _I need to stay sane."_

 _"Oh…"_ she said and looked down dejectedly. _"You want me to go?"_

"Yes…." he said immediately. Then added a beat later _"No, not yet, stay a little… "_

Jemma smiled and stepped closer, sitting next to him on the bed. As she leaned closer to look at his notes, he could almost feel her soft hair _"Show me what you have, Fitz."_ she said.

 

**Day 25**

_"You need to eat, Fitz."_ she admonished him.

" _I'm not really hungry."_ He stared at his plate in disgust. His stomach was in knots – he was no closer to a solution and the memories of the Framework haunted him. He kept hearing the tortured voices of his victims, felt Ophelia's cool hands against his skin and he just wanted to throw up – he felt so dirty, so ashamed.

Jemma looked at him with concern. " _Come on, you are always hungry. And look – it is pancake. It's your favourite_."

" _Not prison pancake_." He rolled his eyes – thinking about their conversation about getting a real home together with a breakfast nook; their dreams of lazy mornings with pancakes and sweet kisses. Too bad he killed those dreams too.

" _Don't be ridiculous. Eat. You need sugar so your brain can work. And some protein_ …"

Fitz sighed exasperated. She was relentless. " _Stop, Jemma. Stop worrying about me. I – belong here and…I deserve this… all of it…_ "

" _Snap out of it, Fitz. Have they charged you with anything? What about a lawyer? Being kept in solitary, without due process? You haven't done anything to deserve this. And you know it._ " Jemma's voice was serious now.

" _But Mace, Agnes…"_ he protested feebly burying his face in his hands.

" _That wasn't you… It was him. And even if you feel responsible – legally, in this world – you have done nothing wrong."_

" _But it was me."_ those memories continued to weigh him down with guilt.

" _No it wasn't._ **You** _would have recognized me._ **You** _wouldn't have said those things to me."_

" _But I still did…"_ he muttered, shaking at the memory.

" _Fitz, look at me. That guy – he was not my sweet, best friend, my love - he had none of this"_ she motioned between them _"none of your memories, your experiences. He had nothing – and he means nothing to me, either. This is you Fitz – and you can choose to wallow, or you can work with me and try to find us."_ she finished. Fitz looked at her, tears falling down his face. It was cleansing.

 

**Day 85**

_"A ghost, Fitz? Really?"_ her voice was skeptical **.** _"I thought we didn't believe in ghosts…"_

" _Well, not really a ghost. An incorporeal entity."_ Fitz corrected himself.

 _"Isn't that just a fancy science word for a ghost?"_ she mocked.

 _"Fine – tell me then your theory."_ he snapped back.

" _I don't have one – remember? I'm not really here_." she shrugged.

" _Exactly. You are not here_." he said with a sigh.

 _"But I'm here"_ she touched his chest lightly, " _and here_ " she looked in his eyes and as he lowered his head, he felt her lips against his forehead.

 

**Day 100**

" _A hundred monkeys – that's pretty impressive, Fitz_."

" _Don't you see? There is no way out of here. I'm never going to figure this out – because it MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE_ " he shouted, beating his head against the wall to accentuate each word.

" _Shhhhh_ " her hands were immediately on his shoulder. " _You can't give up, now. You promised that you'll work with me. We belong together._ "

" _It's kind of hard to believe that. I know you'll say, it's rubbish, but look at the evidence – the universe rips us apart – always. And maybe… it's for the best… I don't deserve…_ " he swallowed hard as Jemma glared at him daring him to finish his sentence. _"…well – you."_ he muttered staring at his shoes.

" _That's not for you to decide, Fitz_." she snapped angrily. " _I crawled out of a grave to bring you back – you don't just get to give up for both of us. And by the way, if the universe has anything to do with it, which is utterly ridiculous, it doesn't only rip us apart – it always brings us back together. That's what I choose to focus on  – now do your push-ups and start working_."

" _Bossy…"_ Fitz said under his breath, but got down on the floor to do his push-ups obediently.

**Day 178**

" _Aliens? Simmons, I thought you are not supposed to feed me crackpot theories. You are here to keep me sane_." he was annoyed. Simmons seemed as lost as he was. Well, her manifestation in his mind – he quickly corrected himself. It was important to stay focused. The days, weeks, endless months bled together – it was too tempting to get lost in a fantasy.

" _And here_ _I thought I'm here because you miss me_." she smiled.

"I do miss her. I miss her so much it hurts." he whispered out loud, his voice echoing against the empty walls. The 178 monkeys on the wall stared at him mockingly.

" _You'll be together, forever._ " Jemma said gently.

" _How can you believe that_?" he looked at her.

" _How could I not? Think about it, Fitz – we had found a way, every time, when the odds were … astronomical…_ "

"… _impossible_ …" he whispered. Even when the numbers didn't add up – something always brought them together.

" _Exactly…But you'll have to tell her."_  Jemma said.

" _Tell her what?"_ he asked.

" _That you love her. That you want to be with her, forever_."

He closed his eyes, thinking back of all the ways he planned to propose to her, but something always held him back. Whatever he could think of, it was never good enough, too imperfect. " _What if…_ " he started hesitantly.

She scoffed. _"What if… - you see? All these wasted years, because of fear and doubt? What do you have left to lose? She deserves to know how you feel."_

 

**2091 – Lighthouse, Kasius' Place**

Fitz forgot what he was about to say to Enoch, when he saw her. Not the imaginary Jemma in her blue sweater and with her bouncy ponytail, but an entirely impossible Jemma – dressed in the gold-white uniform of Kasius' slaves. It felt like the world stopped for a moment – because here they were again. Together - after impossible odds. Their love did not obey the laws of the visible world – it was beyond that; belonged in the realm of quantum physics; into a place where mathematics was unchained, where they had passed the event horizon together and their fates were bound together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt that we were missing some key conversations that would explain Fitz's proposal, which felt a bit out of the blue.
> 
> I think that before Jemma disappeared, she must have told him something that reassured him that they were still together post-Framework. The Diner scene in 5x05 and the ending of 4x22 makes me think that it took place in those 25 minutes when they got from the Base to the Diner.
> 
> As regards the prison, we don't see ImagiJemma, but it feels like a likely coping mechanism for Fitz to talk to her, in order not to go completely crazy in solitary. I think though he was consciously imagining her, rather than the hallucinations in S2. I wrote with a similar concept in my post-5x04 one-shot speculation (Silent season), but the dialogue is changed in this one, to reflect the hopeful conversation in the car.
> 
> Finally, I found the phrasing of the postcard "Working on it - Fitz" (which the writers unfortunately forgot about) a bit curious, and I decided that perhaps it was a promise he made to Jemma.


	2. Psychically linked (G, FitzSimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma's POV during Fitz's proposal.

Jemma, it’s me. Don’t turn around just play cool.

_She looks out the window at the magnificent, yet terrifying view of space that once excited her so much but now just signifies an unbridgeable distance. She has a strange feeling, like her skin is tingling. She can almost feel his presence, his breath on her neck. She wonders how can it feel both like yesterday and forever. The mysteries of the fourth dimension Fitz would say, no doubt._

Oh, I’ve missed you so much.

_Time is so cruel, she muses. She remembers how excited he used to be about the theories of space-time. On paper, it is elegant, fascinating formulas of past, present and future melding together seamlessly. But in reality, as in mathematics, perspective matters. From where she is standing, things feel finite and irreversible._

I spent six months locked up in a military prison.

_She imagines again what happened to him. She worries that he may have been hurt, captured. It is strange to worry about someone who has lived his life already. She wonders if he ever thought that she would willingly abandon him?_

 Not to mention eighty years frozen in space, hoping to find you.

_She knows in her heart that he kept fighting, never giving up hope. Maybe she shouldn’t either. Not this time. Maybe there is a way back._

And here you are.

_If only he were here, they could figure it out together._

 You know, I realized something.

 _That pain in the pit of her stomach is back, that maybe she realized everything too late_.

The universe can’t stop us. Cause we have crossed galaxies, we have travelled through time, we have survived at the bottom of the Atlantic just so we could be together.

_All the pivotal moments of the past ten years of her life have been defined by his presence. Now her life has become defined by his absence. She feels as empty as the endless vacuum of space._

_She thinks about all the missed opportunities – she wishes all those times she would have been stronger, braver. She wishes she told him that she loved him right at the bottom of the ocean. Things could have been different._

Now a love like that, that is stronger than any curse.

_She has always believed that their link, their love was unbreakable. Maybe the curse was just that – all the times they hesitated, all the things they left unsaid._

 You and I, we are unstoppable together.

_Because together, there was no problem they could not fix. Why were they so afraid then when it came to themselves? Why have they ever doubted that they could work it out whatever the problem was?_

I don’t want to live another day without you.

_She has known for a long time that she never wanted to be without him._

So Jemma Simmons, will you marry me?”

_She just couldn’t find the words (scrap that, the courage) to say that she wanted to be with him, always, forever._

I know… I mean I said play cool, but I didn’t mean play this cool.

_She knew he thought about marrying her, she heard him say that his love would never fade. Maybe that’s why she feels it pulsating through the vastness of space and time, no matter what her brain tells her about the evidence. Why hasn’t she ever told him that hers would not either? Why hasn’t she told him that she would marry him, like he promised the LMD that wore his face but could have never matched his essence? She banishes that thought immediately, the wound is still too fresh, too raw. If only she got another chance, she would not waste it. But it looks like they ran out of chances._

Jemma… [Is there a problem?]

_She feels the shadow of a feathery touch on her arm that sends electric waves around her body. She spins around startled by Kasius’ voice; and she forgets to breathe for a second. Because there he is, blue eyes she thought she’d never see again piercing her skull with hot intensity, burning with a question, confusion and warning. She wants to touch him to make sure he’s not a hallucination, but she takes in his appearance, and she knows for sure she would never imagine him in a marauder outfit. In her head, he always wears soft flannels, cool cottons, fluffy cardigans._

I asked your servant a question which she ignored. [My apologies, my servants here are only allowed to hear the voice of their master.] Oh, are they? Well, why don’t you tell me how your guests’ needs are met when your slaves can’t hear them _._

_She wants to scream with joy, wants to run in his embrace, but she knows immediately, without words that he’s playing a dangerous game to be here. She sees him arguing with Kasius pointing at her and she is quietly pleased that the blue bastard seems cowed by his reprimands._

[There.] Thank you.

_As Kasius turns off the switch in her ear, she finally hears his voice, his soft words penetrating her prison of silence. She keeps her features under control, but her heart is pounding so fast, a joyous, triumphant rhythm, because he has found a way. Again. After beating space, he beat time too. And together, they will fix this._

[This one is quite exemplary. In fact, she also travelled through time with the destroyer of worlds.] Hmm [Which probably explains her flawless complexion]

_They stare at each other for a long beat as Kasius talks. Jemma tries to read Fitz’s thoughts through his eyes – she sees the love, the hope, the resolve and tries to reflect the same back to him before they reluctantly break eye contact. It’s essential that Kasius doesn’t sense their connection. She focuses on the conversation trying to guess the game he is playing. She involuntarily flinches as Kasius touches her face in front of him, burning with humiliation and fear that he would do something rash, when she sees a hot anger flash in his eyes._

Is she for sale?  [Not independently. She comes as a companion, for she is quite adapt at motivating the Destroyer.]

_It’s the smart play, still she cannot help but scoff silently at the absurdity of seeing the love of her  life bargain for her, Jemma Simmons, fiercely independent woman, holder of not one, but two PhDs, as if she was a trinket at a marketplace. She gathers that must be his plan – attending the auction to purchase Daisy and herself. He moves closer and she wonders if there is a way Kasius will not notice the electric field vibrating around them with desire._

Ha. Well, I find that the only motivation people ever need is pain and it’s proper application. [A wonderful sentiment. I should’ve expected no less from a man with such an impressive brooch.] Huh.

 _She looks along with mixture of awe and horror as Fitz, the gentlest, kindest, most loving person she’s ever met says these horrible things as if they were the most natural things in the world, playing Kasius like a pro. She knows it’s an act, but it is a fearsomely convincing one. Still she’s afraid for him, what could happen if he slips up_.

[I need you to go see what has been reaped from today’s harvest.]

_She risks one more sideways glance at him, but his eyes are downcast. He is so close, she almost brushes against him as she hurries off to fulfill the task Kasius asked her to do. She feels an almost unbearable desire to touch him, hold him, kiss him. And the denied touch feels like a void. A renewed hope and resolve makes her feel alive, because she is as determined as she has ever been to get out of here, to fix things, to not to wait for their future to start but to live it in the present wherever and whenever that may be, to leave nothing unsaid ever again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jemma's face was so expressive in this scene and I'd like to think that she was thinking of Fitz at that point. Their psychic link is strong.


	3. Procedures (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little drabble about 5x07 and the ear surgery scene -because I found it so amazing
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> \- Medical procedure  
> \- Implied torture (no graphic descriptions) / Framework Fitz

SHIELD ACADEMY – Ten years ago

 

Fitz stared at the Scrabble board sceptically. "STAPES. Is that a word really? I'm not going to play if you are cheating again, Simmons."

"I'm not cheating, Fitz. You have a right to call for a dictionary check." Simmons looked back at him with that smug grin that Fitz found at the same time incredibly annoying and very endearing. He also had learnt in the past months that it was a reliable sign of when he should give up an argument that he was about to lose. So, he just shrugged instead.

"Fine, tell me what it means."

"It's one of the three ossicles that make up the tympanic cavity, of course. And it means that I have won." she declared triumphantly.

"Well, I thought we were playing in English, not bloody Latin." he grumped a little. Truth was that Simmons was nearly unbeatable at Scrabble, he should have insisted on chess – that was a more level playing field.

Without paying any attention to his grumbling, she produced her anatomy book and went into an impromptu lecture about the intricacies of the anatomical structure of ears and the mechanics of sound processing. Spending time with her, he learnt more about her beloved specialties than he ever cared to know. Fitz at first only half listened to her ramblings, but after a while he found her enthusiasm irresistible and got pulled in. "The ear is really fascinating, Fitz. I thought even an engineer could appreciate the simple and effective way it transfers vibration into brain, it is really incredible.  Such a simple, but effective design." 

He looked at her with raised eyebrows "What I find incredible is your fascination with cavities full of goo and mucus. I'll never get how you are so excited about poking, prodding and dissecting all this stuff."

She replied as always "Once we go in the field, who knows what kind of situations we'll find ourselves in. I like to be prepared."

Fitz thought that it was unlikely that they would end up doing field operations. The two of them were quickly becoming the stars of the SHIELD Academy labs – why would the organization send two brilliant minds, who frankly did not do too well on physical training, into the line of fire? He kept this thought to himself though, not wanting to get into another argument with Simmons, who dreamed of exciting spy adventures in the footsteps of Peggy Carter.

“As long as you’ll do all the poking.” he offered finally.

"You know Fitz, I'm sure, when things come down to the line, you'll have it in you to poke and prod if it comes down to saving someone." Fitz was not sure about this at all, but as always, her words were the anti-dote to that nagging feeling of self-doubt that resided deep inside him since he was a child.

 

++++++++++++++++

 

HYDRA LAB - Framework

Leopold took deep breaths as he held the forceps tightly in his hands trying to stop the trembling. He needed another tissue sample, and the lab assistants would not be back until morning. The inhuman in front of him flinched in anticipation of the pain. Leopold was sure that with the right samples he could isolate the macro-molecules responsible for his teleportation ability.

He avoided looking into the inhuman’s eyes, he didn't enjoy the pain or the fear – it was purely science and a necessity. Inhumans were a threat to everyone and it was his duty to protect the world from them to prevent another Cambridge Incident.

If he had to cause pain, it was the same as testing fruit flies and rats. The subject was not a human after all, not really, he reminded himself. Still, he hated this part – the messy tissues, the blood, the sweat. He was an engineer at heart; he dealt in elegant designs, materials he could predict, make bend to his will and pieces that fit neatly together.

This work was not passion like his work on the drones; but it was a promise. Ophelia needed a new body and weapons to defeat her enemies and she trusted him to do this. He could not bear letting her down. She was the centre of his universe after all, his best friend and true love. He would do anything for her.

 

+++++++

LIGHTHOUSE 2091

 

As Jemma changed out of the slave robes and emerged without gold paint, Fitz couldn't help but check her out from head to toe. She no longer resembled a mythical creature from some corny, B-list fantasy movie, but there she was flesh and blood; smiling, radiant and intensely familiar. The weight of pretending to be the despicable creature he abhorred, but now knew resided in him as a possibility has melted, and since what seemed like an eternity – he felt like himself again. Jemma anchored him to this reality, which was in a way absurd and surreal, but it didn't matter. As long as they were together, he felt home, wherever, whenever.

The magic of this tiny moment of alignment got broken when Jemma grabbed her ear and doubled over in agony. A moment of panic washed over him as he had no idea what to do. Looking into her ear, he saw the shiny implant blocking her ear canal. He barely heard Daisy's words as he searched frantically for something to remove it with. He got lucky – they must have stumbled some sort of medical room – when he knocked over a box full of surgical tools.

As they fell to the floor with a loud clang, he stared for a beat at the forceps – so strange and so familiar. _I have it in me, I can do this_ – he reminded himself. He closed his fingers on the cool metal, cupped Jemma's face and looked in her eyes that radiated infinite trust and permission to go ahead. He took a deep breath and steeled himself before pushing the forceps into her ear canal shutting out all thought of the pain he was causing her. It had to be done, she trusted him to do it and he would never let her down again. The love of his life – his past, present and future.


	4. Schematics (T, FitzSimmons Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes around episode 5x8 - moments connected by the design - takes place in 2091, 2018, 2022 and sometime after that. Fitz POV. Conversations with May, Robin, OOC (child), and Jemma.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> \- implied character deaths (though doesn't really stick because of time loop)
> 
> Sorry, no smut here, as Daisy interrupts...How rude...
> 
> Updated with a snippet on the origin of the wedding rings of Fitz and Simmons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: it's quite a bit angsty and bittersweet. Also there is implied character death, because of time loops / parallel timelines or whatever they are.
> 
> If angst is not your cup of tea, just pass to the next chapter, where light fare of fluffy banter awaits.

**2018 -Lighthouse**

 

"Dammit" Fitz hissed as he cut his thumb open with the wrench.

"Are you ok?" May asked as she entered.

"Yeah – just brilliant. Well, the Earth is destroyed and it's the end of the world, but we have a water filtration system. So there's that." Fitz replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he crawled out from under the piping.

May stood there unfazed by his theatrics. "Where is Simmons?"

"She's doing food inventory – trying to figure out a way to grow something." he shrugged. He thought bitterly that they should be on their honeymoon right now, sitting under a palm tree, sipping ridiculous-coloured cocktails, making love to the sound of crushing waves. Instead, they were here, at the end of the world, fixing one hole at a time on a boat leaking through a thousand holes, destined to sink.

"That's good. Now that you fixed the water, food is next." May nodded.

"There is nothing remotely good about any of this…" Fitz retorted irritated. May apparently refused to acknowledge the hopelessness of their situation.

"Robin thinks there is a way. There is a machine…" she said, her voice excited – at least as excited as May ever got. She showed him a drawing of a machine – childish scribbles of an unrecognizable contraption.

Fitz sighed. "Not now. .. I cannot take another crackpot idea from the girl right now."

May nodded and put away the drawing. "Fine, anyways, I brought you something. I know you lost your things on the way to the Zephyr…" she opened her palm, and Fitz saw two simple golden bands. He looked at May with a question in his eyes.

"They belonged to Andrew and me. I want you to have it. I think you and Simmons should still get married, like you had planned." May said simply.

Fitz scoffed. "What's the point? We are on borrowed time – none of it matters, May."

She looked back at him calmly. "It matters to you. And it matters to her. And that's a good enough reason to do it, Fitz. It's a promise that whatever future there is, you'll keep fighting for it. She needs that hope and so do you." She dropped the rings on the desk and left.

Fitz stared after her and then back at the rings. He didn't believe that they could change time – but even if he couldn't give Jemma the future she deserved, maybe he could still give her this; a promise fulfilled, a moment of hope.

 

**2022 - Lighthouse**

Fitz stormed out of the room feeling like he couldn’t breathe. Robin’s visions about the blood, Jemma’s lifeless body, it was just all too much. They have been stuck here in this hopeless end of the world hell but at least they had each other. Not everyone was so lucky. He was reminded of that whenever he saw Yoyo – the light gone from her eyes.

And really it wasn’t Robin’s fault. Fitz felt sick to the stomach thinking back at his outburst, seeing Robin trying to pull May away, so afraid of his anger. For a moment he saw himself at ten, staring helpless and horrified as his father raged. Fitz thought he was done with him for good. He was sure that he eradicated all traces of that vile man, but he was evidently wrong. That monster was still inside him.

He sat motionless for a while staring at the design. He was still not sure how he was supposed to invent time travel or if Robin’s vision of the time machine was even true, but more than ever he felt that he had no choice but to keep working, because this was his only chance of saving Jemma.

When he finally walked back to their room, she was already asleep. All curled up on her side, she looked so peaceful; almost childlike. The knowledge that her blood would be spilled, to imagine the light slipping out of her forever made him shake with a silent sob. He didn’t want to wake her, he didn’t want her to know of the horror awaiting her – it was his burden to bear. Still, he didn't know how he was supposed to carry on without her. It felt like they weren't two different people anymore, the boundaries of their merged bodies and minds blurred a long time ago.

A tiny body stirred next to Jemma – and Fitz picked up the baby, held her close, breathing in her sweet scent. She calmed down listening to his heartbeat as she nestled herself contentedly against his chest. There is no future, there is no past – it just is – he reminded himself.

“We’ll fix this, baby girl, together.” he whispered to the baby.

 

+++++++++++++++

**2046 - Lighthouse**

 

He looked at the design and back at Robin who was drawing in the corner. She wasn't a little girl anymore, but a grown woman with a fractured mind, haunted and tortured by images she couldn't understand. The vision she talked about no longer haunted him – he lost so much already, they both had. Robin felt his gaze and looked up.

"All the pieces have fallen into place. You have given all you can." she said.

"Are you saying this is it, Robin? Is it complete?" Fitz asked.

"They are coming for you." she replied.

Fitz shuddered - he knew the end was coming, he recognized the signs from Robin's prophecy. They were all gone; Jemma, May, Yoyo. He was the last one left. And they were looking for him – the Kree wanted to eradicate anything and anyone who could give people hope of a future that looked different.

“Dad?” When his daughter entered the room, he was struck by how much she looked like Jemma, except her eyes which sparkled blue like his own. She was becoming a teenager, soon the same age as her mother was when they met for the first time. A moment etched into Fitz's mind with absolute clarity in the chaos of memories; real and fake, experienced and seen only through Robin's eyes. The fragments were everywhere, but that moment that changed his life stayed vivid and intact.

“This is it, what we have talked about. You need to hold onto these, honey and the white stone. Never lose them.” he replied. "This is the key to changing all this. You have everything you need and Robin will help you. This way, we'll have another chance to fix this - Together. Remember?"

"I remember" she started to cry as she hugged him tight, her tears moistening his neck.

"Hurry, so they don't find you." he said planting a last kiss on her smooth forehead. He looked as she turned to gather the schematics and drawings, feeling that it was a terrible burden to give to a kid. But he had no choice, his time was running out.

She left, taking the plans, Robin, and the monolith fragment with her.

Fitz looked around the empty room, stripped of the work he poured himself into for decades. There was nothing left to do, but wait for the end. He wondered again how many times he went through this part – the fear of that final leap into the dark. Then he closed his eyes and thought of the First Law of Thermodynamics.

 

+++++++++

 

**2091 Zephyr**

_“Until then we are on our own.”_

_“I guess we are.”_

Fitz tore his eyes away from the machine that hit him like the strongest memory when he walked into the room; even though he was sure he had never seen it before and turned to face Jemma instead. The mystery of it slipped his mind immediately as he saw her radiant smile. It was still an unbelievable feeling that he had something to do with that happiness on her face; he was so used to the dark cloud that seemed to be hanging over them in the past. Despite their frankly hopeless situation, she was – what he could only describe as - gleeful.

He looked around, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, after the Lighthouse, the cryofreeze chamber, the prison, the Framework, it felt like they were home. This – the lab on the Zephyr – was their territory.

She smiled as she leaned in for another kiss, one that he hoped wouldn’t get interrupted. It was such a glorious feeling to hold her, to kiss her in the intimacy of their lab, their place without prying eyes or fear of being shot at. Her lips were so familiar, but still it was a feeling he felt would never grow old – not in a thousand lifetimes. The way her body arched into his, the way her tongue playfully teased his, the way her hand sunk into his hair, sending electric signals around his brain was the only thing that mattered. They stumbled toward the work surface, as lust took over.

Jemma shrugged out of her leather jacket as his hands slipped under her sweater, craving contact with her soft, silky skin. He lifted her on the table and her hands were all over his body. He was conscious of the fact that they should be talking, as there was so much to discuss. But nothing seemed quite as important or urgent as their lips fusing together.  It was a reprieve, a haven from the horrors of the future and the past – in the present, in her arms, he felt safe.  

The peacefulness of that moment was shattered and they jumped apart, almost guiltily when they heard loud knocking on the door.

“Yeah?” Fitz asked, his voice hoarse.

“Just wondering if you guys are decent and have time for a consult?” they heard Daisy’s gently mocking voice before she poked her head through the door with a smirk on her face.

“Sure.” Jemma answered jumping off of the table, pulling on her shirt, smoothing down her hair.

Daisy trotted into the lab with Deke on her heels. She took one amused look at their flushed cheeks and Jemma’s discarded jacket on the floor and she muttered “Maybe try locking the door next time… " Then she continued louder "Sorry to rain on your private party but Coulson thinks you should check if you can take this thing out of my neck.“

“Yeah, sure, let’s take a look.” replied Simmons, rummaging around the lab until she located the small, portable ultrasound machine.

Fitz stepped back, eyeing Deke suspiciously.

"So Voss told us that your father built that?" he asked pointing at the time machine. "Do you know where he got the schematics from?"

Deke shrugged. "My mother kept it hidden. She said it was the key to saving the world."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that now pointing more to the direction that Deke's dad is the FitzSimmons child, but it is my strongest headcannon that they would have a baby daughter.  
> So for now, I'm sticking with that.


	5. Of Xandarian Snails (G, FitzSimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma wants to let her hair down, Fitz is hungry - though not necessarily for alien snail.
> 
> A quiet banter between Fitz and Jemma that takes place between 5x08 and 5x09. It is really just a bit of fluff. Jemma POV.

"Ouch." Jemma hissed in pain.

Fitz got up so fast from under the panel that he hit his head. "What's wrong, Jemma?" he asked, his voice vibrating with worry. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. I just don't manage to take this thing out of my hair." she gestured at the golden ribbon that was tied into her hair in frustration. "Would you mind…?" Her scalp started to hurt under the tight braid and she was eager to get rid of the last reminder of her humiliating slavery.

"No, not at all." Fitz put down the screw-driver and moved behind her. She started to tingle with anticipation as his body brushed against hers. He slowly and carefully started to untie her hair and Jemma leaned into his touch feeling his fingers on her scalp and on the back of her head. Ever since he appeared so miraculously, she felt like she couldn't get enough him.

Fitz's stomach growled loudly, breaking her reverie…

"You're hungry." she said matter-of-factly. They haven't eaten since their escape from Kasius' slave bunker.

"I am famished." he admitted, his breath hot against her neck. "I seem to remember someone interrupting our meal…"

"You're welcome… I saved you from eating that snail." Then she turned her neck, looking back into his smiling eyes "Wait… you were really going to eat that snail, weren't you?" she said, suddenly impressed.

"I … I mean you ate an alien monster plant, so I felt I had to keep up." he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah, but this stuff was just beyond disgusting… I still remember when you almost threw up after trying oysters…" she smiled back.

"I'd definitely eat an alien snail for you. My love for you knows no bounds." he joked, but Jemma felt a bit teary becuse she knew it was true. "You should have seen some of the things that passed for food in the prison…" he chuckled mirthlessly. He gently held her head, turned it forwards and continued untangling the golden ribbon.

"That must have been hard… I mean the prison." Jemma said quietly, suddenly a bit ashamed that she was complaining so much about the few days she spent at the slave bunker when he must have gone through hell during all those months alone in solitary confinement not knowing what happened to them.

"I drew monkeys on the wall" he said "of course you did" she interjected "and came up with crackpot theories about where you were… and yelled at football on TV." he added. "Man U is doing really this year… I mean not this year, but 74 years ago, which is really old news... but you know what I mean…"

Jemma smiled, because being in the future was surreal, but listening to Fitz babble on about football was something so achingly mundane and unbearably familiar. A moment that could have happened back in the Academy or in a cottage when they are old together – an everyday miracle never to be taken for granted.

"Here, all good." Fitz said as he finished untwisting the ribbon, letting Jemma's hair fall loose on her shoulders. He raked his fingers through it gently.

"I'd kill for a shower. Don't tell me you had one on your spaceship." sighed Jemma.

Fitz looked at her with a wistful smile. "It had some nice bells and whistles. There was a little food printer – I mean synthetic stuff – tasteless and odourless, but it could do crazy colours – hot gum pink and cerulean blue." Jemma laughed. "And for some strange reason, coconut water. Enoch is crazy about that stuff."

"No gin then?" she asked.

"I'm afraid the bar was completely left off. Terrible design fault." he shook his head. "These chronicoms still have some things to learn about proper engineering..." he smirked.

"It's good riddance then." Jemma laughed, then added. "Thank you - it's much better, now." She didn't only mean her hair, but everything was better now that they were together. She ran out of words long ago to express how he made her feel. So she just stepped closer and brushed her lips against his. He kissed back gently, teasingly.

"Fitzsimmons." they quickly broke apart. "May says, you should take a look at the avionics…" Coulson motioned towards the cockpit. "…that is if you are done here." he added with an amused smile.

"Right away, sir." Fitz replied and picked up his screwdriver with a sigh.


	6. Enoch (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes for and loosely connected to episode 5x10. Fitz and Enoch come up with a plan on how to activate the monolith.
> 
> Triggers: light mentions of the Framework

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am kind of bummed that we didn't see more of Fitz and Enoch interacting after 5x06. It was such a great moment when Enoch called the team "friends", and I think this is mostly due to how Fitz treated him.
> 
>  
> 
> I really liked Enoch - unfortunately his character was much in the background, especially after 5x06, so it is a little tribute to him (sorry, it).
> 
> Also, a reflection on the way Fitz relates to AI.

**32,000 years ago on a planet revolving around a star in the constellation Cygnus**

 

As he opened his eyes for the first time, the agitated argument of the two scientists penetrated his consciousness.

“Why did you change the programming? The Chronicoms are only meant to observe, never to interfere. Can you imagine what happens if they can meddle with a technologically inferior species?” the voice belonged to the older scientist.

“I know there is a risk. Still, how sad it would be to let an entire race of beings blink out of existence knowing you could have done something. Isn’t it our responsibility to help?” the younger one replied, his voice echoed with a wistfulness.

“I feel you are playing a dangerous game. It is meant to be there to observe – once it starts to interact, can it remain a neutral observer? Wouldn’t its programming that allows it to blend in be forever corrupted by such interaction?”

“Maybe. Still, our mission ….”

“Shhh – I think it’s awake.” interrupted the older one. The two scientists leaned over him.

“Welcome Chronicom. Let me brief you on your mission; you are to observe and record the evolution of a primitive lifeform on the planet known Terra...”

 

**Sci-Tech Academy**

 

“What are you doing up so early?” Fitz jumped at the unexpected line and almost knocked the teacups out of Jemma’s hands, who was peering curiously over his shoulder.

“Gah, can you not sneak up on me like that?” he asked frustrated.

“I was hardly sneaking…” Jemma replied and put a cup in front of him. He took a sip – it was perfect. Simmons perfected the sugar – liquid ratio and brewed it to just his liking in the past months.  He smiled at her gratefully. Her new friend’s perfectionism was sometimes infuriating, but it had its upsides.

“Thank you. Spotty was feeling unwell. His scent-processing is off.” Then he leaned over the little drone. “Don’t worry, boy, we’ll patch you up in no time and you can be back playing with your buddies.”

“Fitz, you do realize that it’s not a living thing?” Jemma asked mockinggly.

“Come on Simmons, why be so rigid about these things?” Fitz sighed dramatically. “The retrievers have scent detection better than a _Didelphis albiventris_ and a vision more acute than _Buteo jamaicensis._

“You just learnt all those Latin names to impress me, clearly.” Fitz did not dignify this accusation with an answer, especially because she was clearly right.

“I’ve always wanted a puppy, but mum said we couldn’t – the house was too small.” He shrugged instead. “So I figured it’s time to build my own puppies.”

“They are kind of cute.” Jemma conceded. Then her expression suddenly changed – Fitz knew her now long enough to realize that a new idea was coming. “And I think I have an idea on how to upgrade the scent receptors.”

“Of course you do..” he said, but was excited to hear it nonetheless. Simmons always found a way to make his projects better.

 

**Zephyr 2091**

“I see you found yourself a backpack, Fitz.” Jemma entered the lab. “We are landing soon – we need to get ready!”

“Yes, and I am getting ready - but I’d rather be prepared for whatever awaits us in the Lighthouse.  Have you seen some wire around here, by any chance?” he asked as he continued filling the backpack with various items. “I’m pretty sure I had a stack in one of these drawers.”

“Wires?” she asked. “No, but I can check in Voss’ locker. He seemed to have hoarded many things there. None of it will matter if we can’t identify the material of the monolith.” she sighed.

“It is a limestone composite with crystallized structures inside.” They both turned around to see Enoch enter the lab. “My functions include material analysis.” he added.  

As Jemma left the room, Fitz continued to pack his backpack. Enoch stood awkwardly at the corner. “Agent May told me to make myself useful somewhere far away from the cockpit.” He offered as a way of explanation. “I feel that she is not too fond of me. She called me a “damned robot””

Fitz sighed. “Don’t take it personally, Enoch. May has good reason to be vary of AI.”

“I’m not an AI, I am a sentient chronicom…” Enoch started, but Fitz cut him off with a waive.

“Nevertheless, it has nothing to do with you.  It is my fault, really. I have experimented with artificial intelligence and she, I mean it turned on us all.”

“Having spent 30,000 earth years observing your species, I have seen time and time again, that evolution requires experimentation, including risks and mistakes, Leopold Fitz.” Enoch said solemnly.

“Well, this mistake was definitely too big.” Fitz replied, his voice flat. The adrenaline rush of the past few days and elation of being reunited with Jemma, his fiancée – the thought made him smile – made him forget the Framework momentarily, but the painful memory was never too far away. It always bubbled right under the surface.

Luckily Enoch switched the subject. “So what is your plan for activating the time machine?”

Fitz shrugged. “Well, we’ll meet up with Mack, Yoyo and Flint. He builds the monolith – we’ll bring it back to the Zephyr and hope that the battery reserves of the Zephyr will be enough to power up the machine.”

“In that case, I calculate the chance of success to be less than 0.5%...”

“Thanks, Enoch, you certainly know how to put a positive spin on things…” Fitz snapped, clearly frustrated. “I don’t suppose you have a better plan.”

“I do, in fact. Which is what I was trying to explain to Melinda May before she told me to go away.” Enoch said, his voice full of indignation. “I could activate the machine the moment it is built. That would raise your chance of success to 20% at least.”

Fitz looked at the Chronicom, running the scenario through his head. “But that way you cannot come back with us. You have already done more than what you have bargained for, my friend.” He put a hand on Enoch’s shoulder.

“Bargaining is not part of my programming. I make my decisions based on algorithms and pick the highest chance of success.” He replied.

“But you would most certainly be captured or killed – the Kree will be all over this plane as soon as we land looking for any sign of life…” Fitz said.

“So it’s lucky, I am not a life form – they would not necessarily detect me.” Enoch replied with a smile. “But in any case, my survival is not part of the relevant parameters. My prime objective is to ensure the survival of the human race. It is what I was designed for. You could say, it’s my destiny.” Then he looked at Fitz. “That AI you talked about…what did you design her for?”

“To protect… the team members, when necessary.” Fitz looked down.

“And you are not comfortable with this decision anymore.” Enoch observed.

“I started to have my doubts, yes.”

“Isn’t that what you would do too? Wouldn’t you die for these people?” Enoch asked and Fitz looked at him.

“Yes, but it’s my choice.” he said.

“And this is mine, Leopold Fitz.” Enoch answered. “You know, I have experienced many things on Earth; great milestones of history, the evolution of mankind.  But I’ve never felt as a part of it. But with you and the team I do.  Helping you reunite with your friends, with Jemma Simmons, was very helpful to understand you better. And now I understand – we are not so different. You also have a programming; it is to find her and save her - always.”

“I guess that’s a way to look at it.” Fitz said thoughtfully.

“I don’t know if I understand what you, humans call love. But working with you, I think, is as close to experiencing fun as I’ll ever feel.” Enoch replied. “It would be hard to go back to recording, anyway.”

“Thank you, my friend.” Fitz nodded.

 

+++++++

“I don’t feel good about this – why should we trust him?” asked May sharply.  As always, Fitz felt like squirming under her strict gaze.

“He’s done nothing but help us.” he replied finally.

“Are you kidding? He kidnapped us…” Coulson interjected.

“He acted in line with his programming – and now he is willing to help us get out of here.“  Fitz countered.

“It’s not like we haven’t seen programming go wrong …” May looked at him pointedly.

Fitz swallowed hard. He was clearly not the only one still carrying the wounds of the Framework. “I don’t think that’s a risk here. It is a solid plan.” he said defensively.

“Are you kidding man?” Deke intervened. “All of the plans you people have had were absolutely crazy so far… and this is not any better. What do you say this creature is anyway? An alien robot? Have you looked around here? Aliens are bad news.”

“Nobody asked for your opinion.” Daisy snapped at him sharply.

There was a moment of silence, but then he felt Jemma move next to him. “I agree with Fitz – it is our best option.” Fitz felt a rush of relief – he has started to question his own judgement, but Jemma’s was solid.

Coulson looked at May who gave a slight nod. “OK, I guess it’s decided then. Let’s run the plan through with Enoch – we are landing soon – get ready.”

Fitz nodded and turned to get his backpack. On his way, he brushed his fingers against Jemma’s. “Thank you.” he whispered.

She smiled at him. “It is a good plan – or the least worst, if nothing else…. Oh, yeah, and I found you the wire.”

“What would I do without you?” he smiled back at her.

 

**Earth year 2091 -  planet revolving around a star in the constellation Cygnus**

 

 “We received the heat signature from chronicom X456GHJ7894 – looks like its battery exploded.” a young scientist rushed into the lab.

“Did we get any previous message?” the older scientist asked.

“In its last log, recorded in earth year 2018, it is written that the extinction protocol was activated.” the younger scientist replied.

“But we do not have a record of this extinction.”

“No, we don’t.”

“How extraordinary.” The old scientist mused. “A puzzle to solve. Get a new chronicom ready – I’d like to find out what happened.”

“We’ll get right on it.” The young scientist said and left the lab.

 

 

 


	7. How to Organize an Inter-Dimensional Wedding (G, Team SHIELD, FitzSimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes organized around the FitzSimmons wedding. It is the fluffiest team fluff I have ever written. Alternating point of views (Simmons, Fitz and Daisy). How to plan a wedding on the lam. Set after 5x08, 5x11, and during 5x12.
> 
> Possible triggers: There are some references to Yoyo's injury, but not terribly graphic.

**2091 Lighthouse**

 

They lay entangled on the floor of the lab of the Zephyr on a makeshift mattress, but Jemma didn’t care. Holding Fitz close, feeling his warmth, his breath on her neck was everything she could ever wish for. Still her heart was beating fast, a hopeful, excited rhythm, trying to process all that has happened.  “Are we really going to do it?” she whispered.

“Yes, of course, we are.” he said and ran his fingers through her hair.

“I can’t believe we have waited for this long.” Jemma sighed. Fitz looked at her then wordlessly kissed her forehead.

“So what kind of wedding did you plan?” he asked.

“What makes you think I’ve planned one?” she giggled.

“Jemma, I know you. You always have a plan – down to the colour of the last flower in the flower-girls’ bouquet. And a plan B. And a plan C.”

“Well – and mind you – I haven’t obsessed about it –“ she said. “Yet-“ Fitz interrupted with a smirk and Jemma playfully wacked him .

“You want to hear it or not?” she asked with faked annoyance. Fitz knew her too well after all, and in the past weeks – before all hell broke loose she secretly let herself imagine what it would be like.

“I do, you know I do.” he replied only half joking.

“Well, I guess a country wedding, on a meadow, with all our families – and I don’t know – just something perfectly normal. With a wedding dress, and you wearing a kilt...”

“Are you serious? Since when would me wearing a kilt qualify as normal?” Fitz exclaimed.

“You know what I mean… “ she smiled at him. “To be for once just totally ordinary and have champage in crystal flutes and those little _hors d'oeuvre_ …”

“Yes. That does sound nice.” Fitz said wistfully. Then after a moment of pause he added “You do realize that even if we make it back, I’m on the lam – we’ll be fugitives.”

“I forgot about that.” said Jemma with a heavy heart.

“Hey.” Fitz said touching his forehead to hers. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Yes. Together.” Jemma said with a smile. The dream wedding didn’t matter, they were together, and this was all she ever wanted.

 

**2018 Earth**

 

Jemma’s stitching was careful, perfectly lined up. Still, as she focused on the pattern ignoring the cold dread that was squeezing at her heart and tied her stomach in knots, she forced herself to imagine that it was someone else lying there with both arms cut off, not Yoyo. Because if she let herself think about it, her tears would flood uncontrollably and she couldn’t afford that luxury. They needed her. _Soon, after it was done, Fitz would come by, like he always did and then… then she could let herself grieve._ He always knew how to help her through these moments with his silent presence, a hug, a squeeze on the shoulder. She finished the last stiches and bandaged the wound. She turned towards the door as she heard footsteps on the corridor, but instead of relief, panic flooded her, when it was not Fitz, but Coulson who poked his head through the door.

“Jemma, there was an explosion. Fitz and Daisy… “ Her heart skipped a beat in dread as she stared at Coulson’s troubled face. “They are just knocked out, but could you check on them?”

“Bring them in.” she said and she leaned anxiously over them. They were both pale, covered in dust and blood, but their pulse was steady and the wounds seemed mostly superficial. Jemma gently cleaned the wounds and dressed them, then sat next to Fitz holding his hand. She remembered the days of his coma when she sat next to him just like this, silently bargaining with the universe, willing to pay any price just for him to wake up.  Imagining her life without him was a deep, dark abyss; and the first time she stared into it, she shut down emotionally, because it was more than she could bear. That abyss was still haunting her dreams.

Finally, his eyelids started to move, and slowly his eyes blinked open. He took a moment to focus, but when his gaze locked into hers, she saw all the familiar emotions surface in the clear blue pools of his eyes; awe, relief, and love.

“Jemma” he said, his voice raspy, and a wide smile spread across her lips.

“Fitz, you got…” Jemma replied.

“knocked out from the explosion.” he finished. Suddenly panic ran across his features and he tried to sit up “Daisy…”

“She’s ok. Stay down Fitz, I need to make sure there’s no internal injury.” Jemma told him gently, but firmly.

“Okay.” he agreed with a sigh. “What about Noah?”

“He – he didn’t make it.” Jemma said, and Fitz just nodded wordlessly, his eyes sad. It was so like him, to grieve for a robot, he barely knew.

“How’s Yoyo?” he asked quietly.

“The wound will heal – but Fitz, I just don’t know how you…” Jemma finally felt the lump in her throat just burst and tears started pooling from her eyes.

“Hey, Jemma. Look at me, you did good. You did everything you could. She’s alive because of you, and we’ll find a way – we’ll build something for her together. Something amazing.” he said, his voice resonating with detemination.

She nodded. He wiped away her tears gently with his fingertips. “You could have died… again…” Jemma said. “I just want a day… without..”

“I was stupid, I didn’t even consider that Hale rigged the beacon.” Fitz said and Jemma saw that he started to beat himself up…

“You know that’s not true… “ she said and leaned down to kiss his parched lips. He closed his eyes to savour it.

“Fitz… I don’t want to wait for the right time – what if there’s never a right time?” she started, struggling for words. “Even if it’s not official…”

“Then we won’t wait.” he said catching her meaning immediately and holding her hands…

“Oh, just get a room, won’t you…” they both turned towards Daisy who opened her eyes with a pained expression. “Don’t tell me I’m going to be a flower girl with a wound on my face…”

Jemma hurried over to Daisy. “Let me check you out, Daisy.”

“Don’t change the subject, Jemma.”

“I need to see if you have had a concussion.” Jemma stared down at her friend with her sternest doctor face. Daisy was not intimidated, instead looked back with a wide smile.

“We are going to make a party of it. I’m so happy for you guys…” she said warmly. “I mean I always knew, and if you only listened to me, we could have skipped over years of pussyfooting around the inevitable…”

**************

 

Fitz stood under the shower and let the filth of past and future soak off of his skin. Everything was happening so fast. Time that seemed to stop in the prison was now moving at a neck-breaking pace. He slowly got dressed in the clothes he found – in truth, he was delighted to feel the cool cotton of the shirt over his skin. He felt more like himself, instead of a cos-playing space adventurer. He sat down in the small dressing room, wondering how to make good on the promise he made Jemma.

“Fitz?” he looked up and saw Coulson standing in front of him. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, sir.” Fitz replied.

“We’ll need to take stock of the damage in the storage room. “

“Yes, the DWARF-case is on the Zephyr – I’ll get right on it.” he stood up with a sigh.

“Thank you. We need to be sure if it’s safe down there.” Coulson said, lightly touching his arm.

“Of course.” he looked at Coulson. Then hesitated for a moment, “Sir, I – I …ok… not sure how to say this. So Simmons and I…” he stuttered not quite knowing how to say it.

Coulson smiled warmly. “I may have heard something about that. And about damn time. And congratulations…”

Fitz sighed in relief. “I was wondering – when things settle down a bit here… maybe we could… I mean it’s just symbolic and all… but would you marry us? Jemma doesn’t want to wait…”

“And she’s right. You shouldn’t wait…” Coulson said. “We’ll figure something out. What do you need?”

“Ah – rings, and maybe a dress for Jemma would be nice…”

“We’ll get it. Let’s do it today.” Coulson replied.

“Today?” Fitz looked at him startled.

“It’s as good as any, Fitz. Don’t wait. Take it from the guy who waited for the right time too many times. The world as we know it may end any day - what is there left to wait for?” Coulson asked, his face full of emotions, Fitz could not quite understand.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” 

 

*******

 “How are you feeling?” Daisy opened her eyes to see Coulson standing over her bed, looking down with concern.

“Like a particular nasty hangover after a bar brawl?” she quipped.

“Have you ever been in a bar brawl?” chuckled Coulson.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Daisy cocked an eyebrow at him. Then she saw his expression change into something wistful.

“Daisy, I’m going to need help – I need to put together..”

“..an inventory of the damage?” Daisy interrupted.

“.. a shopping list…” finished Coulson with a grimace and Daisy jolted up.

“Aah, the wedding for FitzSimmons – we are totally doing it?” The weariness left her body and she felt giddy. She has been bursting to tell everyone about the news of their engagement, and in truth, she did tell Coulson back in the future.

“Yes, we are. I think we could all do with a celebration.” Coulson smiled.

“Yes, boss. We certainly could.” Daisy agreed. They needed this – something to be happy about. There was too much doom and gloom and the future never looked darker.

“So, I put together already this – but it has to be pretty accurate, because I’m going to have to send Deke…”

“Deke? That’s crazy…” Suddenly Daisy felt uneasy. Deke was dumb enough to screw up everything.

“Daisy, he’s the only one who can go up there right now.” Coulson shrugged. “So what else do we need?” He asked her handing her a piece of paper. Daisy squinted at the scribbles, which featured mostly different types of booze, apart from the rings, the wedding dress and a jacket for Fitz.

“Shoes – she can’t wear a wedding dress with work boots.  And I know Simmons would be particularly tickled to see Fitz in a kilt.” Daisy added with a devilish smile.

“Okay.” Coulson’s expression was somewhere between a smile and wince. “You think they’ll have a kilt at River’s End?”

“Stranger things happened…” she smiled. “We’ll also need make-up….”

“Don’t forget pins.” They both turned around to see May leaning in the corner.

“How long have you been standing there?” asked Coulson.

“Long enough.” May replied. “Trust me on the pins.”

 

*****

 

Fitz hurried across the corridor with the DWARF case when he bumped into Coulson again.

“I think I got everything together. Daisy helped – you know the preparation is already doing wonders for team spirit. Even Yoyo smiled for a moment” Coulson said “Any last orders?”

Fitz thought a bit “A bottle of gin for Jemma.”

“A whole bottle?” Coulson cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, she’s going to have to deal with me for the rest of her life, so… “ then he paused for a moment as a terrible thought ran through his head. “So Daisy helped.”

“Yes, you know Daisy. She’s team cheer captain.” Coulson nodded.

“Sir, if by any chance, Daisy tried to tell you to get a kilt – as man to man – I’m begging you to take that off the list.”  Fitz tried his best to convey the seriousness of the situation. The undecipherable smile on Coulson’s face was not good news. “Is that a yes, sir?” he asked.

“You just check out the basement, Agent Fitz. I got this.” Coulson said and hurried away. Fitz stared after him uneasily.

 

***********

**Later that day**

Jemma stared in horror at the lacy dress that hung on her like a tent. It looked like the mockery of the perfect, sophisticated wedding look she imagined whenever she daydreamed of their wedding ( _which only happened maybe once or twice, on average, in a day._ ). The shoe was rubbing her feet at all the wrong places, and she felt unsecure as she tried to balance on the unfamiliar high heels. Her hair, which was at least clean now, was an unmitigated disaster. _This was a terrible idea._

There was a knock and Daisy entered. “Can I come in?” she asked and Jemma nodded, relieved to have someone to talk to.

“Look, what I said to Fitz before- I didn’t mean it, you know that.” Daisy started hesitantly. “I was angry, and I just lost it…”

“Daisy, you don’t need to explain to me. We all felt the same pain…I mean, I can’t believe that Coulson… and as for Fitz, you know that you will never be harsher on him than he is on himself already.“ she gave Daisy a pointed look.

Daisy nodded. “I know. I’m really sorry, anyway.”

“He’ll understand.” Jemma said, and squeezed Daisy’s hand. Jemma’s eyes welled up with tears. “This just feels wrong. With everything that’s going on – with Coulson, Yoyo – it’s… we can’t do this.”

“Simmons, look at me. We have supplies, we have a wedding dress, Deke manifested a perfectly good English meadow, you have a dress that makes you look like you’re out of a Jane Austen movie, your fiancée is already rocking the helplessly-in-love Mr Darcy look, just blonder and scruffier …” Daisy said firmly.

“This dress is a disaster…” Jemma motioned at herself, but Daisy continued with her pep talk.

“Jemma, trust me. First, you could wear a plastic bag, and Fitz would still think you are the most marvellous creature to ever grace the universe; and second, I am the master of the thrift store look. I have many tricks up my sleeves…”

There was another knock. May entered and looked Jemma up and down. “Well, it’s good I reminded Coulson of the pins. You can never have enough pins for a wedding.” she said.

Jemma smiled at her and suddenly she started to feel calmer. She tried to collect her thought as May and Daisy pinned the dress around her. Daisy stepped back and admired their handy-work.

“This is perfect, Jemma.” she said. “Now we’ll have to do something with your hair.”

As Daisy started working on a braid, Jemma looked at May, whose face as usual was inscrutable. “How is Coulson? Did you talk to him?”

“He is with Fitz…”

“How… how are you holding up, May?” Jemma asked. “I can’t imagine…”

May sighed. “What Coulson doesn’t understand yet, is that I’m not going to let him quit like this. I’m not done yet fighting for his stubborn ass. We’ll keep looking until we find a way.” May said and Jemma felt her resolution radiating into her.

“Damn right.” nodded both Daisy and Jemma. 

“We always save our guys.” said May.  “That’s just who we are.”

Daisy finished with the hair and the make-up. “Perfect” she announced. “I’ll go ahead and see if Deke manifested some flowers for the bouquets.”

May looked at Jemma “You are beautiful.”

Jemma smiled in the mirror for a moment – not how she imagined it, yet somehow it felt fitting.

Then panic rushed through her again “My vows, what am I going to say?”

 “Just speak from your heart. The words won’t matter. It’s the feeling. You know what I remember from my wedding? That feeling of hope – a future full of possibilities. We all need this hope now.”

Jemma felt a lump in her throat, she was not sure if the future was not already decided, like Fitz believed. “You believe we can change it?”

“I _know_ we will change it.” May replied. “I know you, Fitz and Daisy – you always find a way.”

Jemma sighed, “I’d better check on Yoyo.”

Jemma entered the infirmary hesitantly. She felt ashamed almost to be so happy when Yoyo’s entire world collapsed. She was awake and smiled weakly at Jemma. “You look great, Jemma. I’m so happy for you. I told Mack to record all of it– so I can see it. And I hope he’ll catch the bouquet, since I can’t.” she joked and Jemma almost started crying.

“Hey, don’t cry, you don’t want to start your wedding with a smudged make-up. Fitz already came by and told me all about the marvellous bionic arms you two will build for me. I’m counting on that.”

Jemma nodded. “Do you need me to adjust your morphine dose?”

“I’m fine, Jemma. Go, be happy. We don’t know what will happen – but this, you’ll always have it whatever happens. And God knows, you deserve it.” Yoyo said. “Spare me a slice of the wedding cake”

“Thanks. We will.” Jemma replied with a smile.

 

************

 

“You forgot the tie.” Mack frowned at Deke.

“I didn’t so much forget, as there are less people pawning ties than wedding rings. It was quite a shopping list to get through in very little time, and I did not get arrested – so I’d say mission accomplished successfully. I feel like I’m not getting credit here….” Deke protested.

“For not getting arrested, man? That’s a pretty low bar there.” Mack grumbled. Then he turned to Fitz who was only half listening to the argument. “Turbo, I knew this day was going to come. I didn’t know it would take quite so long. And I would sit here with you and give you a pep talk – but I promised Yoyo that I will record everything and the girls are already downstairs. So – “

“Hey, Mack. I know, with everything…. Thank you… for doing this for us…” Fitz turned to his friend and best man feeling almost guilty.

“Buddy, after all the drama I have suffered through on the account of the two of you, there is no universe I would miss this.” Mack said with a smile, embracing Fitz in a bear hug. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

Coulson barged in “Are we ready here?”

“We need to pack up the supplies. You wouldn’t believe what an amazing cake I found. It has these colourful pictures…” Deke said.

“Whatever it is, we’ll eat it, Deke. Let’s go, guys.” Coulson said. Fitz got up, took the jacket that Deke found for him.

It was surreal, like a dream. He was going to marry Jemma Simmons. Few days ago and at the same time a lifetime ago, he was sitting in a prison cell wondering if he would ever see the light of day again. And now they were here – and they were going to do it - if the universe, or Deke’s forest from the other dimension doesn’t collapse around them before or if new nightmares don’t come crashing down the party. 

“Fitz?” Coulson’s voice brought him back to the reality.

He nodded. “I’m ready.” _Or as ready as I ever will be_ , he added in his head.

 

*******

 

Fitz and Jemma sat together in the grass, eating the last bites of an overly sweet and gooey Mickey Mouse cake that Deke picked up as their wedding cake and drinking gin from a paper cup. Jemma kicked off her high-heel shoes and stretched her toes.

“I can’t believe I made it without falling over in these contraptions.” she smiled.

“You know this makes it a grand total of three times that I’ve seen you in a dress.” Fitz replied.

“Are you complaining?” Jemma asked with a raised eyebrow.

“More like complementing. And now I am thinking what if we snuck off to see what’s under that dress. Wedding night being a sacred tradition and all.” he looked at her suggestively.

“Ah – so now you are into tradition suddenly?” Jemma laughed. “I don’t think we are supposed to leave our guests…They went into all this trouble.”

“Yes, incredible.”

“We did it.” Jemma said with a wide smile interlacing her fingers with his. “It was nothing like I ever imagined, but still so much better.”

Fitz looked at her – her beautiful, radiant face, her smiling eyes – and still couldn’t believe the she was his. For better and worse. Till death do them apart. His wife.  Then he gazed at the wedding guests.  Mack – who gave a cracking speech together with Daisy, poking fun liberally at them – already went upstairs to be with Yoyo. But the rest of them were here – May and Coulson sitting together with a bottle between them, Daisy chatting with Mike and Davis – who was the best wedding present he could imagine – one less death on his conscience, one less ghost to haunt him. Smiles on all their faces – Coulson was right, it was a reprieve amidst past, future and other dimensional horrors.

Deke stopped next to them with a bottle of Zima in his hands. “Pretty awesome cake, no?” he asked and Jemma just laughed. “I’ve never had better…”

“You guys don’t have to thank me or anything, but it was not easy to find everything. I mean you know how many types of eye-curling thingies there are to choose from.” Deke continued.

“I’m just glad you didn’t pick fluorescent purple shade.” Jemma replied.

“No, Daisy gave pretty precise instructions on that.” Deke nodded thoughtfully. “And you can also thank me for this forest.”

“And we have, Deke. Your irrational fear is our paradise.” Fitz replied drily. Deke kept rubbing a nerve he did not know he had, with his obnoxious boasting and constant blabbering.

“It’s my magic.” Deke grinned.

Jemma scoffed. “Oh please, magic is just science…”

“..we don’t understand… My mother used to tell me the same thing.” Deke said.

“Well, your mother was a smart woman.” Jemma replied.

“She was.” Deke said quietly, lost in his thoughts.

Daisy plopped suddenly down behind them hugging both Fitz and Simmons. “We did it guys. I can’t believe it – but my work is done.” She said with a wide smile.

“Now wait a minute…. Your work?” Fitz looked at her with fake indignation.

“Come on, Fitz. You know I put serious men-hours into making you two realize and embrace that you have been hopelessly and irrevocably in love this whole time. Without my matchmaking efforts we would never be here. Let me bask in the glory for a moment.” she said with a smile, but with tears in her eyes.

“How much drink exactly have you had, Daisy?” Jemma asked.

"You see? I was right about the Zima..." Deke interjected.

Coulson and May appeared. “We need to pack it up guys, the forest is starting to collapse.” Coulson said and smiled warmly at them.

“Thank you, to all of you.” Jemma looked up at them. “It was… everything was ... perfect.”

“You see- I told you…” Deke started.

Coulson cut him off. “We can all agree it was a team effort. After all these years, it made us as happy as you to be a part of it. Finally.” He chuckled. “And now we have work to do...”

 

**2065 Lighthouse**

 

“…and they lived happily ever after.”

“Tell me another story, mum.” Deke begged. He loved his mother’s stories of magical places, glorious adventures, discoveries – and most importantly: of happy endings.

“I’ve already told you five stories, which is four more than I promised, Deke. You drive a hard bargain” his mum laughed and gently caressed his forehead with her cool hands. Something shiny caught his eyes – a ring that looked like a treasure from a fairy tale.

“Can I see it?” he asked.

She pulled off the ring and placed it in his open palm. Deke stared fascinated as the light reflected on the shiny jewel.

“Where did you get that?” he asked.

“It belonged to my mother.” she smiled back at him with a sad sort of smile that was difficult for a 5-year old boy to decipher.

“What was she like? Your mother?” Deke asked.

“Remarkable, incredibly smart. She always believed that one day this place will be just a bad dream.” she replied.

“And you believe that too?”

“Yes. And I’ll keep working on it, like I promised them.” she whispered.

“If I had magic, I could make it all disappear – the Kree, the bad people.” Deke said.

“I don’t think magic can save us, sweetie. But maybe science can…That’s what I believe. Sleep now.” she smiled putting the ring back on her finger and started humming a lullaby.

 


	8. Wedding Night (M, mild smut, FitzSimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding night - it's a bit angsty then fluffy, fairly vanilla wedding smut. Still it is SMUT and as such probably M-rated? (sorry, I'm horrible with gauging ratings, so I prefer to err on caution's side).
> 
> Triggers: oral sex, Framework references (fairly brief)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's up for interpretation - but to me it's conceivable that FitzSimmons never actually have had proper sex in the future - not having enough privacy long enough anywhere.
> 
> In which case, Fitz's trauma (which let's be honest was sexual assault) from the Framework also had no chance of being addressed / resurface. I didn't want it to ruin their wedding night, but I think it may be something that filtered in. So this is my take on it.

After the wedding was over, Fitz playfully lifted Jemma and carried her over the threshold of their room in the Lighthouse. She buried her face in his neck, and her breath was tickling him as she laughed. He found it endearing how much of a sucker she was for all the gimmicks of a traditional wedding and was happy to give her all he could, _well, except the kilt_. He kicked the door closed behind them, and there they were, in the windowless room of an end-of-world bunker. Not exactly the honeymoon suite he imagined, _if he ever fantasized about such things_ , but it featured a real bed, and somebody – probably Daisy – placed some flowers on the nightstand. After the prison and the hellhole future, it felt positively luxurious. He looked at Jemma’s face – flushed, smiling and happy – and he wondered how could she always radiate this much joy.

During their wedding reception – _and reception was a generous overstatement_ \- he could not wait to be alone with her with no interruptions, to freely roam on her silky skin, to bury himself in her and forget about the fear rift or the impending apocalypse. But now that they were here, his stomach was in knots, and his hands were slightly trembling. He felt more nervous than ever, even more jittery then their first time together in that hotel room in Bucharest.  Which was a bit ridiculous; after all, by now he knew her inside out; he had discovered each little sweet spot, he understood each moan, each wordless shiver.

Still, it felt like the last time they were together was a lifetime – or rather two lifetimes ago, back when he was a different person, someone more deserving, untainted yet by darkness and evil.

“Fitz…” Jemma said with a smile, and he focused on her as she was standing in the soft halo of the bedside lamp, white and radiant like an angel. He stepped closer, cupped her face and kissed her, first softly, then more deeply. She responded hungrily, pressing her body to his. Fitz ran his hand down her back holding her tighter then he hissed as he felt sharp pain in his palm.

“Ouch, dammit…” he whelped.  She looked at him with worry in her eye.

“Ah, is it the pins? Did you get hurt?” “It’s nothing, Jemma.” “I forgot about them…” she said… “I’m afraid you’ll have to find them all first. May and Daisy must have put three dozen in there...” she added apologetically and turned her back to him.

“Okay…Is this like a special challenge to protect your virtue?” Fitz quipped as he carefully smoothed his hands over the lacy material, trying to feel for the pins and worked his way over every inch, pulling them out carefully one by one.  He unbuttoned then the dress, letting it fall to the floor. He drank in the sight of her bare skin, kissed his way down the line of her spine from her nape to the small of her back. He unclasped her bra releasing her breasts. She turned around straddling him and she moaned softly as he sucked on her nipples. She leaned back on the bed and he delicately caressed the freckles on her skin, tracing out the constellations that would always guide him home, leaving a trail of goose bumps. He buried his face in the hot wetness, taking in her familiar scent and taste, caressing, teasing with his fingers and his tongue until she came trembling, her moans echoing on the concrete walls.

“I missed this.” Jemma whispered when she could focus again.  She sat up and unbuttoned his shirt. “You looked good in leather, but it’s nice to see you in a proper shirt again.” she chirped. Then she caressed appreciatively his toned muscles – she was always big on symmetry – stripping the clothes off him, her tongue slightly protruding in concentration. Her touch sent Fitz’s senses into overload as the overwhelming emotions of the day wound his body up like an overcharged electric field, yearning for release. He rolled on top of her and when she nodded, he entered her, stopping for a moment, enjoying the heat, the wetness, the feeling of being home. He started to move slowly at first, trying not to hurry, but instead savouring the pleasure of their wedding night. Jemma playfully scratched her nails down his back and he froze in panic as a ghost’s voice invaded his mind. _Leopold._

Suddenly he could not breathe. He felt cold sweat breaking out on his skin, tears pooling in his eyes then he heard Jemma whisper. “Fitz. Look at me.”

He opened his eyes and found hers shining with intensity and love, pulling him down deep into her soul, anchoring him into the present. _His wife, their wedding day._ He let out a breath that almost sounded like a cry and started moving again, letting the desire wash over him emptying his mind of everything, surrendering to the sensation until he reached his climax. He closed his eyes and buried into her as deep as he could, breathing hard. She pulled him closer and they stayed entangled just holding each other, quiet for a long time.

Finally, Jemma broke the silence. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight.” he said his voice a bit raw. “Let’s just enjoy this – I want it to be perfect.”

“It is already perfect, Fitz.” she smiled. Then she added quietly. “Whatever troubles you, you can always tell me. And whatever comes through the rift, we’ll face it together.” Fitz swallowed hard; it was sometimes scary how much of an open book he was to her.

“You are amazing, Jemma. After everything you’ve been through, nothing can break your spirit.” he kissed her. “You really believe that we can change it? Save the world, have a family?”

“You don’t?”

“Everything I know about science, maths, and space-time tells me we are stuck in this loop.” he sighed.

“It’s science as we knew it then. Do you remember when we didn’t believe in time-travel or ghosts or blue aliens?” she asked.

“That’s a good point.” Fitz nodded. “Though for the record, I’ve always believed in blue aliens.”

“We’ll figure it out, Fitz. And if we don’t, we’ll get married again and again until we do.” she laughed.

He grinned back at her. “That doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe next time I’ll make it through my vow without stuttering.”

“In one of those loops, I’ll get you in a kilt.” Jemma countered with a mischievous smile.

“I’m starting to think, Dr Simmons, that you may have developed a kilt fetish.” murmured Fitz suggestively in his thickest Scottish accent.

“Can you blame me, when I have perfectly dashing, Scottish husband that I want to peel him out of a kilt on our wedding night?” she giggled and started kissing him again...The darkness and shadows can wait, he decided as he held her tight.


	9. Midnight Snack (G, FitzSimmons family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz is kept up at night, with some dark thoughts / night visitors. A little snippet that takes place between 5x12 and 5x13.
> 
> Quite angsty, but with a bit of fluff.
> 
> Fitz/Deke / Simmons
> 
> Possible triggers: mentions of Framework Fitz.

Fitz jolted awake suddenly. He looked at Jemma curled up, sleeping peacefully next to him and the feeling that she was now his wife overwhelmed him again.  Their lives, intertwined ever since they were 16, came bound together by the promise that they made to each other. The promise about a future where they would build something even more extraordinary than anything they had done before; a family.

This promise kept him awake as his brain started to spin, trying to figure a way out of the loop of doom, out of the Lighthouse. He wanted to give Jemma so badly what he knew she wished for; instead of the claustrophobic underground bunker, an endless horizon of blue skies and green meadows.  For now, they were trapped amongst the shadows of their own fears and doubts that haunted them - born out of unspeakable trauma and loss. Heaven knew, as a team, they had more than enough to keep them busy until the end of the world came crushing upon them.

Thinking about the rift, a dark thought invaded his mind– _what if the device did not hold? What if something else was slipping through?_ His heart started racing and he quietly climbed out of bed, shivering slightly as his bare feet touched the cold concrete. He quickly got dressed and crept along the silent, dark corridors to the control room. He stared at the screen and the fluctuating numbers and he knew it meant that it was just the question of time. The rift would open again and the nightmare-figures would start slipping through…

He knew what he feared the most: the monster with the soulless, pale blue eyes, the condescending smile and menacing whisper. He had learnt to face him and look him in the eye – back when he had nothing left to lose. The monster took everything already: his love, his friends, his freedom, his soul.

Now the stakes were unbearably high – he was happy – but still a feeling of dread remained that his happiness was not something he deserved and the thought that he may lose it soon tied his stomach in knots.  If the monster appeared again, what would Jemma do? Could she still look at him with love and trust or would her eyes betray the disgust she must feel for _him_. For the monster, who was never really Fitz, but who was also not entirely someone else.

His hand started to shake almost uncontrollably, and he turned around startled when he heard rustling behind him. He was scared to find a figment of his horror appear, but it was just Deke – elbow deep in a box of chocolate cereal, his face almost transcendent with pleasure.

Fitz felt annoyance. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I didn’t see you standing in the dark. I was just a bit peckish. I never knew anything quite as amazing as Coco Puffs existed. You want some?” Deke said with his mouth full as he offered the box to Fitz. Fitz shook his head.  Deke continued with a shrug, crunching cheerfully on the cereal. “My mum told me she once tasted chocolate – it was one of the last pieces left in the Lighthouse. Her parents kept it hidden, until her 6th birthday. But, well I never thought… “ he trailed off. Fitz just stared at him.

He did not want to hear Deke’s stories about growing up in the future that was awaiting them. He imagined being the father of a little girl, with curly hair, clever eyes and Jemma’s smile and instead of taking her out to Disneyland and buying her a big princess cake for her birthday, trying to create festive mood with a stale piece of ancient chocolate. The thought was soul crushing.

“Go back to your room, Deke.“ he said curtly. “The rift is unstable, someone may mistake you for a fear-manifestation.”

“And you?” Deke asked.

Fitz sighed. Sleep was not in the cards – he could not remember a night he slept through ever since he awoke from the Framework, with the weight of two lives crushing him down. “I will keep watch – I want to make sure nothing attacks us in our sleep.”

“Good, because I certainly don’t want to wake up with a roach staring in my face…” Deke replied.

Fitz listened to his receding steps and turned his attention back to the monitor.  He stared at the vibrating numbers as he ran possible designs through his head – all ending in one grim conclusion – he needed more gravitonium.

He heard footsteps and the clinking of dishes and let out an exasperated sigh without turning around. “I told you to go to your room.”

“Well, I was planning to go to my room and have breakfast in bed with my husband, as newlyweds ought to. But he was nowhere to be found.” He heard Jemma’s slightly mocking voice as she approached balancing two cups of tea. She gave one of the cups to Fitz. “Thank you.” he took a long sip and closed his eyes for a moment – it tasted like home – back when he was a kid, getting ready for school or back at the Academy, when he could hardly wait for the morning so he could go to the lab and share a new, exciting idea with her. Back to a time when he was still innocent, when everything felt possible.

“I’m sorry I snapped, I thought it was Deke. He was rummaging around for food earlier.,” he offered as explanation.

“Oh, I remember when you used to get up at all odd hours to eat, Fitz. Give him a break – he must be in sensory overload.,” she laughed. “The more important question is why aren’t you in bed? With me? she added with a coy smile.

Fitz could never resist that smile, he leaned over and kissed her softly. In that moment, all the darkness disappeared, and hope filled his heart again. They would find a way.


	10. Conversations with the Doctor (T, Fitz-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations with the Doctor. Fitz and the inner voice. Lots and lots of angst.

**Blue Raven Ridge 2017**

 

Fitz is pushed on a narrow bed – and the door shuts closed behind him. He is exhausted from the interrogation. He has lost his sense of time. He cannot think anymore. It feels right in a way – that’s where he belongs – in a cell, where he can’t kill or hurt people.

“ _You need to fight back.”_ He hears a familiar voice. A voice that is so much like his own, but colder. It cuts through him like a knife.  

“Go away.” He cannot deal with him now. “There is nothing else you can take from me? Are you happy now?”

The Doctor scoffs _. “Oh, look at you whining. You have just destroyed my world and everything I loved in it. You still have something to fight for. They will need your help, you can use them like they are trying use you. You can trick them.”_

“Go away.” Fitz whispers as tears cloud his eyes. He holds his hands tight on his ears to make him go away.

 _“I have nowhere else to go, you made sure of that.”_ He hisses but falls silent.

Fitz stares at the walls, thinking he has lost his mind. He shakes his head – it’s just the stress, he tells himself.

 

**************

Fitz stares at the pages of the book willing it to reveal to him what happened to the team. When the book refuses to cooperate he hurls it at the wall.

 _“Throwing a tantrum will not solve the problem, look at you.”_ The Doctor is back, mocking and deriding him. His voice has grown louder, more frequent during his isolation. Fitz desperately tries to hold onto himself – he draws monkeys on the wall to remember that that’s who he is. The goofy guy who makes a fool of himself just to hear her laugh and not this other thing – this twisted monster.

“Oh, just shut up. Let me work.” he growls back at him.

_“I could help you. I’m smarter than you.  I did not have brain damage.“_

This is not normal, Fitz thinks – he wants to excorcize this voice so badly. Then a terrible thought occurs to him. What if he really did lose his mind – what if he’s the monster…

“I know what happened – you did this! You – I – somehow lost some time and became you. What did you do to them?” his voice has an edge of panic.

 _“Why would I do that?”_ The Doctor is taken aback.

“Revenge…”

_“You and I are the same. I only want what you want.”_

“No, we are not the same. You killed people, you held a gun at Jemma’s head. You could have done this to the team. You are a monster.” Fitz feels more and more agitated.

 _“I’m the monster? You killed my world, you killed the woman I loved. The one who saved you – and you destroyed her…”_ Now the Doctor is angry.

“She…, it was not real. Just an android with corrupted programming.” Fitz whispers. AIDA is a ghost in his head, together with other ghosts he failed to save.

 _“She was everything I had.”_ The Doctor’s voice is full of pain. Maybe Ophelia was never real, but his love for her was, and Fitz can feel the intensity of it, even if it makes him sick to the stomach, because that love, feels every bit the same how he feels about Jemma.

“And now we both have nothing.” Fitz sighs.

 _“We need to get out of here. I told you, I know a way.”_ The Doctor says.

“No thanks. I’ve seen your ways and I want nothing to do with them. I have my own way. I still have friends.” _Or so I hope,_ Fitz adds in his head.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

Fitz is relieved – it wasn’t him. It couldn’t have been him. He has already enough nightmares.

 _“You see, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t you; it wasn’t us.”_ The Doctor never misses an opportunity to say "I told you so".

“Oh, shut up, you don’t exist.” Fitz still wants him out of his head – all he wants is his mind back. So he can think, so he can stop second guessing.

_“I could help.”_

“And why would you do that?”

 _“Because you want it. Because I am you.”_ He is so sure of himself.

“No, it’s not true…” Fitz protests. “We couldn’t be more different. I wouldn’t do those things you did.”

_“That’s why you’ll need me – because you are too weak.”_

“You are not real. This is just a hallucination. I want you out of my head. Maybe I should tell…” Fitz wonders if he should ask for a psychiatrist. Maybe they could give him some medication that would rid him of this hateful voice.

 _“What? These people? You don’t even know who they work for or what they want. You’re going tell them that you are crazy? They will lock you up forever….”_ Fitz grudgingly accepts that the Doctor has a point.

 

 

**********

 

**Lighthouse 2018**

  

Fitz clutches his phone – a memento from simpler times – when they texted sweet nothings, and snapped silly selfies of ephemeral moments – tiny dots etched into the vast fabric of space-time. He cannot look at Hunter, ashamed that his friend saw the monster he had become, when he lost control.

“ _You see?  This is what I mean – you need me._ “ The Doctor feels no shame – he’s clearly pleased with himself.

“I don’t want you anywhere inside me. I don’t want them to see me like that.” Fitz thinks – silently begging him to go away.

 _“You can’t hide it forever. It’s who you are. It’s who our father was – and he is inside you, just like he’s inside me.”_ The Doctor is not going anywhere.

“Well, I don’t want anything to do with him, with you.” Fitz thinks angrily – his father was a looming shadow in his head his whole life – but now his memory is mixed and more confused than ever. He can feel every slap, every lick of his belt, but he doesn’t know if it ever happened.

 _“We get things done – all you know how to do is wallow_.” The Doctor continues. Fitz tries to ignore him – just looking at Jemma’s radiant smile on a photo. The Doctor continues _“If you want to get to her, this is the way.”_

Fitz is not sure that he’s wrong.

**********

 

**Lighthouse 2091**

 

Fitz looks at his reflection – it feels unfamiliar – the leather jacket, the boots, the mask. He’s dressed to play a part he abhors, but which seems to follow him around these days. He wonders if he can pull it off.

_“Are you ready to listen to me, now? You won’t survive this without me. Your friends won’t survive this without me. Kasius cannot sense your weakness or your doubts.”_

Fitz tries to open his mind to let him in – and it almost makes him feel physically sick. He wants to tell Enoch that there has to be another way, one that doesn’t involve him letting his monster into his soul. But Daisy’s life is on the line – and he has to save her.

 _“They need to fear you. They need to feel your resolve.”_ The Doctor says. _“Make the first impression count.”_

Fitz takes a deep breath and moves to the centre of the room. He thinks of his life as the Doctor – someone who rose through the ranks, someone not to be trifled with – as he removes his mask. There is another mask, an invisible one that stays on.  He wonders if the mask will become his real face if he keeps it on for too long.

 

**xxxxxxx**

 

As Jemma doubles over, Fitz freezes in panic. He cannot bear her pain. He has no idea what to do.

 _“Stop panicking – take a deep breath. You know how to do this. We have done way more complicated things than this.”_ The Doctor says calmly. Fitz tries to focus. He tries to remember surgical tools and procedures – but keep the other pictures out of his mind – the tortured inhumans, eyes wide in terror, mouths contorted with pain. He can’t go there now – he needs to help Jemma. He picks up the forceps and it feels intensely unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. He lets the part of him that knows what to do to direct his body, while he anchors himself into the moment by holding Jemma’s gaze. Her eyes reflecting trust engulf him in a safe space.

 _“There it is, just calm your nerves.“_ The Doctor says, not unkindly.

_****_

**Zephyr 2091**

“We need a plan – the Kree will be after us.” Coulson says.

 _“I have a plan.”_ The Doctor says confidently _. “_ I have a plan.” Fitz says loudly, before even realizing what he just said. – all eyes turn to him.

Coulson nods. “OK Fitz, you make sure that they can’t follow us.”.

Jemma looks at him questioning. He just shrugs and tells her he got this.

**********

 

**Lighthouse 2018**

Fitz thinks about what to say to her. What words he could use to possibly describe the magnitude of this moment? She is all he ever wanted – his family, his friend, his lover. But all words feel insufficient.  

 _“You don’t deserve her.”_ The Doctor says with a hint of jealousy. _“She deserves someone who is willing to do what it takes to protect her.”_

“I will protect her.” Fitz says with conviction.

_“Like you have in the past? Look at yourself, you can’t even protect yourself….”_

“I’m trying…”

 _“They depend on you to close the rift and all you come up with is a band-aid.”_ The Doctor continues mercilessly.

“…I’ll think of something…”

_“When the time comes, you’ll have to be willing to pay the price.”_

“I will – whatever price.” Fitz thinks then he wills the Doctor to go away. This is his moment alone. He doesn’t want their wedding tainted with his presence.

***

**Two days later**

 

Fitz is sitting on the bed – just like the one in the military cell. He thinks that’s where he belongs. That’s where they both belong. Except the truth he has been trying to run away from the whole time is inescapable now – they are not separate. There is just him – and the terrible things he has done.

It was only a few days and an eternity ago that he escaped from that hellhole, thinking that he would save the team, that he could be a hero. And maybe for a few days that was true. But now they all saw who he really was. Jemma saw it – and it cannot be unseen. He looks at his ring – thinking that it was just an illusion – he’s lost her forever. There is only so many times one can hope for forgiveness. Some things should never be forgiven – cutting your friend open like a madman must be high up on that list. He feels like throwing up – he can hardly breathe. He wants to cry, but he is too numb. He wants to smash his head against the wall to get rid of these dark thoughts.

 _“I only did what you wanted me to do.”_ His voice is gentler, almost apologetic.

“I know.” Fitz lets out a breath.

 _“It needed to be done. Time was running out.”_ He explains.

“I know.”

_“We protected them, even if they can’t understand it yet.”_

“They will never forgive me. I lost them. I lost Jemma.” Fitz stares at his hands. The hands that did those things. The hand with the wedding ring.

 _“Maybe. But she is alive. They are all alive.”_ The Doctor’s voice is sounding like his own now. Almost indistinguishable - maybe it always was.

“Yes.”

“ _There is always a price.”_ Fitz whispers to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Fitz hearing the Doctor's voice, remembering his memories, trying to build a barrier between the himself and the Doctor in his mind. But in moments of panic or fear or stress the barrier gets lowered and the Doctor slips through, because as much as he is trying to hide from it, the Framework experience is his experience now and the Doctor is part of him. And Fitz's struggle is to really be able to understand and control all these parts of him, because there is no running away from it.


	11. Baby Steps (T, Jemma-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma's point of view post- and during episode 5x14-5x15
> 
> They jumped through a big portion of her thought process. Actually, they jumped through the crucial initial shock scenes and gave us absolutely no indication what anybody is thinking right now. So for now, this is my version.
> 
> Jemma / Daisy / Mack / Deke 
> 
> Warning: Framework, Doctor, angst, surgery

**Academy 13 years ago**

 

“I can’t keep my eyes open and I still have three chapters to revise …” yawned Jemma. She hated feeling unprepared, but the tiredness started to hit her. 

Fitz, who was sitting on the floor engrossed in his tablet raised his head and gave her a lopsided smile. “Come on Simmons. Luckily for you, I know just what to do.” He said as he got up from the floor and held out his hand.

Jemma looked at his extended arm. “What do you have in mind?” she asked him suspiciously. 

“It’s a surprise.” he said - eyes sparkling. She wanted to frown but couldn’t help smiling. Once she managed to get underneath the sullen, grumpy exterior layer, she discovered a whole different person underneath; brilliant, playful and kind. His boyish enthusiasm swept her away, as always. 

She put on her sneakers and sweatshirt and they walked side by side through the crisp night over to his building. He opened the door to his room and unceremoniously kicked the laundry over into one corner. That’s why she preferred studying in her room- his place was an unmitigated disaster zone on most days.

He pulled her to the bed. ”Close your eyes. Don’t look.” he warned her. Jemma felt a bit foolish but closed her eyes to placate him and listened to what sounded like a small earthquake as he kept rummaging around the room, occasionally bumping into things. “Here, now you can open it.” he said.

Jemma looked up curiously and gasped when she saw what seemed like a veritable feast of junkfood – but not just any stuff; stuff from home: Maltesers, Hobknobs, Twiglets, Cadbury Cream Eggs, vinegar flavoured crisps, flapjacks – treasures hard to come by in America.

“My mum’s latest care pack arrived yesterday” he added by way of explanation.

“She sends you carepacks? That’s so sweet…” Jemma couldn’t help smiling, curious what Fitz’s mum would be like. Whenever he mentioned her, there was warmth in his voice. He never mentioned his father, she noticed, but she did not dare ask.

Fitz shrugged “She always worries if I eat enough. And she knows, nothing beats proper junk food when it comes to cramming for an exam. Come on, dig in.”

Jemma looked at the pile of food and her overtired brain wanted to gobble it all at once. But her mother’s constant admonishing about the importance of a healthy diet were ingrained in her brain. The inner struggle must have been written on her face, as Fitz scoffed “Come on, Simmons, you know you want it. Sin a little.”

She laughed and popped a Malteser in her mouth and closed her eyes as the delicious taste of sin melted in her mouth.

 

++++++++++++++

 

**Lighthouse 2018**

 

Jemma curled up on Fitz’s side of the bed. It was ridiculous to call it his side because he has not spent more than a couple of hours in it in the last few days, working like a maniac, kept up by the nightmares they did not want to name. Jemma closed her eyes, wet with tears. In the morning they were still joking about junk food and exams, and she got lulled into a false sense of invincibility. As if they were back in the Academy, still innocent and untainted, where no problem seemed unsolvable. As if he was still the boy who invited her over for midnight junk-food picnics. She thought she married that boy, but now all she saw when she closed her eyes were the blood on his hands and his ice-cold eyes unmoved by Daisy’s pleading

She cursed herself for being so wrapped-up in her fairy-tale that she did not notice just how unwell he was. She cursed him for hiding the shadow lurking inside him from her. The anger rose in her – it was a pattern. Fitz keeping things from her turned into a disaster every single time; Daisy, AIDA, now the Doctor. If only he said something… they could have… _and this was the worst part of it_ – she had no brilliant ideas as she mulled over the terrible choice he was facing – no wonder his mind split trying to find a way around it. She felt disgusted by what he did, and she felt disgusted by herself that deep down, there was a part of her that agreed with him. The bile started to rise in her stomach again as she thought back to their conversation – _what they could not say_ – that maybe they were sliding down towards that dark, shadowy place, where monsters and mad scientists were made.

Then there was Deke – and she had no idea what it meant or how could she even start to process meeting face-to-face her grown grandson from a future she was actively working to erase. The human mind was not meant to know the future; no surprise that prophecies ended in madness and tragedy in the ancient Greek stories she used to read as a young girl, curious about the names of constellations. She wondered if she would ever meet the daughter who loved her father so deeply, or if she would be just a ghost from a parallel universe to be swept away by the alterations resonating through the loop. She wanted to ask Deke more about her, but she was also afraid what it would mean to know.

She wanted to stay under the blankets, hiding from the world, but she knew there was nowhere to hide. With a sigh, she got up and headed to the med bay to check on Yoyo and Mack.

 

++++++++++++

 

She finally found Mack in the garage – he was leaning over Yoyo’s bionic arm that he and Fitz had worked together on the night before with a frown on his face.

“Mack…” Jemma said “I just wanted to check on your injury.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.” Mack replied. Then he added quietly “How is he?”

“I have no idea. He seems…so distant... detached...” Jemma shook her head, trying to swallow back the tears that were piercing her eyeballs.

Mack looked at her with concern. “I’ll go and see him tomorrow – I need help anyways figuring out what the feedback data from the diagnostics means… “

“Let me take a look.” Jemma said to Mack, grateful for something to occupy her mind, a problem she could maybe solve. “I’ve done this enough times with him.” She studied the data on the tablet. “You see, we need adjust the upper circuit and rerun some of the tests. Have you seen the crimpers?”

“Can I help?” Deke entered the garage. “I can’t sleep…” he added looking at Jemma.

“We’ve got this.” Mack said with a bit of hostility, but Jemma smiled at him “Sure – you can help me find the crimpers…”

“Oh, here, take mine.” Deke handed her the tool. Jemma’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar tool.

“Where did you find this?” she asked sharply.

Deke looked back at her confused. “It used to be my……”  then realization  flashed in his eyes as he finished quietly “..grandfather’s.” Jemma nodded then gave Deke a warning look. She didn’t want anyone to find out before she had a chance to talk to Fitz. She was not sure how his already fragile mind would take the news though.

The three of them worked quietly. Jemma watched Deke, as he deftly manipulated the wires, instinctively understanding the complex system created by Fitz. Engineering was evidently in his genes.

“This is awesome.,” he said. “Fitz really designed this last night?” she could hear the admiration in Deke’s voice. Despite their rough start, he clearly held Fitz in high regard.

“Well, he has considerable experience.” Jemma smiled. “Coulson must be on his tenth hand by now.”

“Yeah, you should see the one with the laser finger and the shield – some of them have damn good bells and whistles.” Mack chimed in. “Almost as cool as my shot-gun axe.” he added – only half joking.

“I think we are done here, Mack – you should re-run the diagnostics with Yoyo and if all is well, maybe tomorrow we can try attaching it…” Mack nodded and left the room.

Jemma stayed in the garage with Deke. They sat in silence for a moment. “Are you OK?” Deke asked finally.

“Considering the circumstances.” Jemma shrugged. “I should go get some sleep. Can I borrow these crimpers for a while?” she asked Deke.

“Sure” he said. “Will you tell him?”

“Yes, I think it’s better if it comes from me.”

“Not going to argue with you on that.” Deke chuckled. “I have a feeling Fitz doesn’t like me very much.”

“He doesn’t know you yet. And he doesn’t like change.” Jemma smiled. “You remind me of him so much…but you’ll see… once you get to know him that he’s kind and funny…” Jemma’s voice trailed off – _wake up, Jemma, he may never be that sweet man again_ – she thought to herself angrily as once again the picture of that stranger operating emotionless on Daisy invaded her mind. “Anyway – thanks for the tool.” she said and hurried out of the workshop.

 

++++

 

She went back to their room and rummaged around Fitz’s rucksack – sure enough, the same tool – just newer and shinier was right there. She stared at them in disbelief – strange how time travel worked.

She gathered some clean clothes for Fitz and headed towards the control room. There was one last thing she had to do. The control room was dark – but the glowing monitors provided enough light to see that she was there, sitting, staring at the screens.

“Daisy…” Jemma said quietly.

 Daisy turned around. “What are you doing here?” she asked; her voice sharp.

 Jemma let out a breath. “I wanted to check on your stitches, Daisy.”

 “Oh, no need; the Doctor did a fine job stitching me up.” Daisy retorted bitterly.

 Jemma flinched at the mention of the Doctor. She walked closer to Daisy and looked at the monitors. She noticed that one of the monitors showed the holding cell, with a dark figure lying on a narrow bed. “You had him put into holding?” she asked.

 Daisy nodded. “So we can keep an eye on him.”  She stared at the monitor – and Jemma had the uncomfortable memory of sitting with her like this, watching Ward with hate in their eyes and revenge in their hearts. How justified she felt in that hate and revenge, then she thought bitterly. She stared at the monitor. Fitz lay motionlessly on the bed, clearly finally overtaken by an exhausted sleep. “So he doesn’t hurt someone else.” Daisy added.

 Jemma bit back the words forming in her mouth and nodded instead. “I can give you something to help you sleep. Do you have any pain?”

 Daisy scoffed “Do you think I want to be drugged again after what happened?”

 Jemma sighed. She had no idea what to say. “Daisy… I’m so sorry for what happened… I didn’t know…”

 Daisy’s eyes softened a bit. “I know, Jemma.”

 “But I should have noticed that something was wrong.” Jemma added.

 “I just… I can’t do this right now.” Daisy said and turned her gaze back to the computer.

 Jemma sighed in resignation. “I brought him some clean clothes.” she said.

 “Leave it here; I’ll make sure he gets it.” Daisy replied in a flat voice. 

 Jemma put down the clothes on a chair next to Daisy and turned to leave. “Thank you.” she whispered.

 Fitz may have succeeded to close one rift, but he opened another one. Jemma had no idea what it will take to fix it.

 

++++++++++++

 

The next day before she could make up her mind whether or not to see Fitz, Mack came by to tell her that the diagnostics went without a hitch and everything was ready to try attaching Yoyo’s arms. On her way to the surgery, she stopped by the control room, where Daisy occupied the same chair as last night, still fixated on the monitor. Jemma saw Fitz was up; pacing in the room like a caged animal.

When they finished the operation, she went back to her room. She picked up her wedding ring that she left on the dresser before the surgery and stared at it. She wondered what to do next – Mack’s words about Fitz being a good person echoed in her head. Ever since those nightmarish encounters with the Doctor, she had been telling herself that it was not Fitz. But what Fitz and Mack were telling her confused her. _You but not you._ What did that mean? Was her husband really a killer? A ruthless monster? Would he hold a gun to her head again? Her heart was telling her no – _but was her heart telling her the truth or simply what she wanted to believe?_

There was a knock on her door and Deke entered. She had not seen him the whole day. “I just wanted to see if you’re OK.” he started, hesitantly shifting uncomfortably from one leg to the other. _He’s every bit as awkward as Fitz_ , she thought to herself amused.

 “I’m fine.” she nodded.

 “Have you talked to him yet?” he asked anxiously. “I’ve heard he had an argument with Daisy and she left somewhere in a huff.”

 Jemma looked at him alarmed. “I’ll go check on him. I just have no idea what to say.”

 “My mum told me that when he had a rough day, you’d always wait for him with a cup of tea. That would calm him down – like a ritual or something…” Deke said. A cup of tea at the end of a difficult day - it sounded so normal. Jemma didn't believe that the future was fixed, but if they made it in one future, at least it meant it was possible to get through this. If they both believed they could make it, maybe they would.  

 “Yeah, tea got us through lots of sleepless nights and arguments in the past too.” Jemma nodded. She noticed that Deke looked at her open palm where she was holding her wedding ring. Small steps, she reminded herself, one at a time. She slid the ring on her finger. It was step one.  Then she got up, put the tools in her pocket and headed towards the kitchen, the contours of a plan forming in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I agonized a lot about these scenes - but somehow they felt necessary. 
> 
> The story they told us in 5x14 was heart-breaking, but compelling, but the follow-up in 5x15 did feel like a cop-out, both in terms of the stories they chose to tell and how they told them.
> 
> Once again, Jemma's point of view, who must be torn between guilt for not noticing sooner, worry about Fitz, anger about his lying, fear about who he is becoming, feeling terrible about Daisy, the implications of Deke was all ignored / skipped through and she jumped again into the supporting wife role without showing any of this struggle.
> 
> They also chose not to have Jemma and Daisy interact - and how uncomfortable that would be (probably) for both of them. 
> 
> I think these initial interactions are crucial - and I couldn't help thinking how it must have played out between them.


	12. Reckless Experiments (T, Jemma-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes organized around Jemma's experiment - Sci-ops, 5x14, 5x15, 5x16
> 
> Fitz/Simmons, Fitz/Mack, Yoyo/Simmons, Daisy/Jemma, a hint of Deke

**Sci-Ops 8 years ago**

 

“Fitz, this is reckless. How can you run an experiment without proper briefing on chemical safety and arrangements for anti-toxins?” Jemma was furious.

“It was hardly an experiment…” Fitz replied.

“The trainee got…” They were yelling over each other now.“… It was a lubricant that got on her fingers and gave her a rash…”

“Is this a joke to you?” She asked with a raised eye-brow.

“No, of course not – but it’s not the end of the world either…” Fitz countered.

“I think it’s time to do again the safety briefing…” Jemma said.

“Oh no, we are not doing that bloody speech again.” Fitz let out a frustrated yelp.

“Sure we are. We have new technicians incoming – basic chemicals safety is indispensable.” she looked at him pointedly.

“I agree. But come on, Simmons – you don’t need to make a thing out of it. And you certainly don’t need me…” He desperately did not want to spend his entire morning going through boring chemical safety protocols.

 “Of course I do. We’ll have to show just how seriously we take these things.” She was unyielding.

“Oh, come on, Jemma…” he tried a smile, in vain.

“Tomorrow at 9 am sharp. Be on time.” she said and stormed out of the lab. Fitz stared after her and sighed. On some days, his best friend simply drove him up the wall.

 

**Lighthouse 2018**

 

Fitz stared at the computer. The contours of the design have started to blur; he had been beating his head against it for hours, but the solution remained elusive. The rift was getting more and more unstable by the minute.

“How is it going?” Fitz turned around to see Mack at the door. Fitz sighed with frustration.

“I honestly have no idea if we can close this rift… I’ve been staring at these numbers for hours… “

“Sounds like you need a break, buddy.” Mack said and walked closer.

“Yeah, not going to happen… “ Fitz yawned with exhaustion. “Anyways – was there anything I can help you with?” he asked his friend.

Mack pulled up a chair next to him and put one of the robot arms on the table. “Oh, I’m just looking at these arms for Yoyo and I was wondering if I can pick your brain…”

Fitz looked at the design. He was hoping to catch some sleep; he has been up for what felt like a long string of days bleeding together, but Mack needed help. It was urgent. Everything was urgent these days – his brain was in a non-stop spin. He nodded “Yeah, no, sure. Like you said, I need a break anyways. Let me see. Looks like it’s based on…” he trailed off mid-sentence as he couldn’t remember the right words.

“Hey, you OK?” Mack asked a bit alarmed.

“Yeah, no. I’m fine. You see, if we recalibrate this bit here and build in neurofeedback processing to …” Fitz replied pointing to the relevant parts.

“Can you do it?” Mack asked with worry.

“Yes, I think so. You see… we’ll need to do new wiring …,” Fitz explained quickly drawing up the schematics. They worked together in silence for a while. _Like the good old days,_ Fitz thought. When they used to hang out in the garage, in front of the x-box or in the lab. The Framework – it drove a wedge between them. Fitz did not know much about Mack’s time in there – he knew about Hope of course and that he wanted to stay with her – but he never dared to ask. Losing a child for the second time – he could not imagine the pain.

“How is she doing?” Fitz asked finally to break the silence.

Mack gave a small shrug. “I don’t know, Turbo. What we saw in that future – her alive like that. It was… disturbing.”

“At least you know she makes it that far. I’m just waiting for the end of the world to descend upon us – and it soon will, if I don’t find a way to fix the bloody rift.” Fitz said and banged his fist against the table.

“You’ll figure it out, Fitz. I have faith in you.” Mack replied. “You’ll find a way.” Everyone was counting on him, but Fitz was terrified that this time he would let them down. He so badly wanted to help. He wanted the nightmares to go away, and most importantly, he wanted his own nightmare safely shut away in a different dimension, where monsters belonged. He just started to build something good here with Jemma, to pick up the pieces and he hoped to close that dark chapter forever.

“Thanks. And even then – we are just postponing the inevitable.” he said with a sad smile.

“You think so? That all this cannot be changed?”

“I don’t know, Mack. I’d like to believe we can – but everything I know about science tells me that we are stuck in a loop, doomed to fail. We don’t even know what will destroy the world… This rift? Daisy’s power? The gravitonium? Who knows?” His own voice sounded defeated.

“So what then?” Mack asked. “We can’t just give up.”

“No, we just try to fix one thing at a time, I guess…” Fitz replied with a thin smile. _Until we bleed out from a thousand tiny cuts_ , he added in his head.

“Damn right. Like we always do.” Fitz sometimes envied Mack’s ability to let go of all worries and pour himself into whatever was in front of him.

“Fitz.” He heard Jemma’s gentle voice as she stood in the doorway.

“Hey Simmons.” Mack smiled at him. Jemma came closer and looked at the design.

“Oh, Yoyo’s new arms? Looks good.” she smiled. Then she added in a low voice laced with just a hint of worry “I was just wondering – you know, you should sleep a little, Fitz.”

“Just a few more minutes and we’ll be done here…”  Fitz looked back at her, longing to feel her warmth, to be safe in her embrace. Unfortunately, nobody was safe until he found a way to close the rift. He continued working on the arms, as new ideas on what to do with the gravitonium flapped around in his mind.

“OK…” She said with a thin smile.

 

++++++++++++++

 _“No Fitz. It means you and I are invincible.”_ Fitz was looking back at her, trying to process all that she was saying. He expected her to tell him that it had all been a mistake; that she had never intended to marry the monster he was hiding from her; that she would not want to build a family with _him_. Instead, she told him they already built a family and in fact, they were grandparents, somehow skipping through pregnancy, sleepless nights and school meetings. Fitz used to think that they were cursed; now he felt the universe was simply mocking them.

“So you believe now that the timeline is fixed?” He asked with scepticism in his voice. They have had this argument before, he thought he knew where she stood.

“No, not completely fixed, but if we are still in the loop, we cannot be killed. We’ll make it to the Lighthouse.” she replied with conviction.

“Well, I can see that, because it’s unlikely I even get out of the Lighthouse before the Earth blows up. So I guess, we are tucked away safely.” Fitz motioned around him with resignation. In a way he got what he deserved, but the isolation was getting to him and he desperately wanted to help the team, but after what he had done, no wonder people were not to keen to listen to him.

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s up to us to go out. To try to do things differently… Fitz, you saw that world – do you want our daughter to grow up like that?” Jemma asked – it was so much like her to be so deeply invested in the mere idea of that child.

“No, of course I don’t. I just don’t think… I can’t even convince Daisy to go after the weapon…” he sighed.

“What weapon?” Jemma asked with a raised eyebrow. Apparently, she did not see the intel May showed him.

“I think Hale is building a weapon with the gravitonium and this is what may cause the rift in the end… We have no idea what it could do…” he said nervously.

Jemma’s eyes grew wide. “Fitz, this could be it… And Daisy?”

“I told you – she stormed out. She wants to talk to Robin…” he shrugged.

“But why? I’ll talk to her, she’ll listen to me.” Jemma said. Fitz bit his lips – he feared that he ruined not only his own friendship with Daisy, but also Jemma’s bond with her.

“I hope so.” He sighed. Then after a moment of silence, he added “So a daughter… “ He tried to picture it – a little girl with Jemma’s smile.

“I know – it’s overwhelming.” Jemma said, but he saw in her eyes she was already in love with her.

“You know, if we break out of the loop, she may never be born. Maybe that future will just slip away.” Fitz said quietly. He did not want to ruin the moment, but they needed to be ready.

“I know – but we owe her to try, don’t you think?” Jemma asked him. He squeezed her hand – grateful that she was still by his side – after everything.

 

+++++++++

“Daisy, you have to listen… This weapon is real and could be what causes the end of the world.” Jemma was trying to hide her frustration. She knew things would be hard with Daisy for a while, but she felt like she was talking to a wall.

“Simmons, it’s just a hunch…” Daisy countered.

“It’s more than a hunch and we can give you proof if you just let Fitz cross-check…”

Daisy interrupted her. “I don’t want to hear about Fitz. He stays where he is…. Ok? He is not to be trusted, not after…” she looked away angrily.

“Daisy, listen to me… Just give us a few hours, please - I take full responsibility…” Jemma pleaded again.

“No, Simmons. I told you to drop it.” Daisy said, cutting the conversation short. “And by the way, you’ve been in his cell and you turned off the audio feed…” she looked at Jemma accusingly.

“We discussed something private.” Jemma replied holding Daisy’s gaze.

“Well, access to his cell is subject to my authorization…” Jemma did not like where this was going.

“What are you saying – I can’t go and see him?” she asked Daisy crossing her arms on her chest.

“You can talk to him through the window just like anyone else. It’s for your safety, Simmons. I know you don’t want to hear this, but he’s dangerous. He pointed a gun at you.” Daisy said coldly.

“Daisy…” Jemma did not know what to say. In her heart, she felt that Fitz would never hurt her, but it was also hard to keep those images away. Still, it was no time to doubt.

“I’m sorry, Jemma. It’s not easy for any of us.” Daisy said with a sigh and turned to leave.

“No, it’s not.” Jemma whispered looking sadly after Daisy.

+++++

Jemma was still reeling from the discussion with Daisy, because this was one of those moments, when she felt with every fibre of her being that it was up to her to do something, to find that weapon, to change the future. She had to do it for her – for that child that has not yet been created, not in this timeline anyway, but whose son nevertheless was poking his head through the lab door with anxiety in his eyes.  

 “Have you told him?” Deke asked and moved closer.

“Yes.” Jemma nodded.

“And?” Deke asked excitedly with a smile. He reminded Jemma so much of Fitz when they first met – once her husband’s eyes also reflected this endless thirst for life. Now he looked haunted most of the time.

“He’s still in shock – It’s a lot to process, but he’ll come around.” Jemma said smiling reassuringly.

“You think I can go see him?” Deke asked eagerly.

“I don’t see why not?” Jemma smiled. _It’s not like he has better things to do_ – she added in her head and her smile faded. She was still unsure what happened exactly in Fitz’s mind that day. She was sure however that sitting all alone locked up in a cell was only going to make him worse.

She watched Deke go. She imagined him a small boy born into a hopeless world, learning nothing but survival – and her heart was aching. She needed to do everything she could to change the future and she needed allies.

++++++++++++

Yoyo stared at the chemical containers. She was never one to mince words. “You know how crazy that sounds?”

“Well, do you have a better idea? This way we’ll know if our theory is true. We’ll know if we are still in the loop and we’ll know if we are really invincible.” Jemma said. It was reckless, but she was desperate. The Jemma Simmons of old days would never do something like this – but this was precisely why she had to do it. The loop was created by the usual, reliable, responsible Jemma. It was time to be someone different; more daring and unpredictable.

“You could die.” Yoyo said.

“I thought you believed that it was all fixed, that we cannot die.”  Jemma countered.

“That doesn’t mean you should tempt the Devil, Jemma.”

“It’s science –  there are always risks – and we need to be willing to take them. How can I take you and Fitz with me, if I’m not convinced it is true?” Jemma asked. She needed to be sure, because as badly as she wanted to change the future, she did not want Elena or Fitz hurt.

“Can’t you just… I don’t know come up with something less dramatic?” Yoyo asked.

“If we are going to deceive Mack, I don’t want to do it on a hunch. He’ll see that we are right. And if I die – it means the loop has been altered.” Jemma tried to sound brave and sure of herself. She has never been quite as unsure of anything as this experiment in her life. Still, she had to do things differently, she reminded herself.

“Is it so simple?” Yoyo asked with worry.

“I don’t know. All I know how the loop plays out – and it is not acceptable. How much worse can it get than a blown up planet…?” Jemma asked.

“With Mack dying...and me…Yeah, I see your point; there are worse fates than death.” Yoyo said, her eyes darkening. She swallowed and nodded. “I’m in.”

“Good.” Jemma replied with a thin smile. _At least I will know just how much Fitz believes that things cannot be changed -_ she thought.

 

+++++

“I can’t believe you did that, Jemma. That was insane.” Fitz’s hands were still trembling as he tried to type on the keyboard. He still could not believe Jemma would do something as reckless as her little experiment. He wondered if it was to get back at him – but he didn’t think Jemma would go quite so far for such a petty reason.

“You can’t argue with the result – you are free…” she replied looking at him pointedly. He averted his eyes. He really had no leg to stand on in this argument. He relied on Jemma’s sound judgement for so long that it was unsettling to see her do something so rash.  “We need to go after that weapon, Fitz.”

Fitz sighed. “OK, I will try to find the coordinates… And we need to pack..”

“I already packed.” Jemma replied.

“The icers, and the tablet with the…?” he asked. He preferred to do his own packing.

“Fitz, I said I already packed.” she snapped. “Just, hurry up.”

“Yeah, ok.” he muttered. “OK, I think I have found some coordinates.”  Then after a pause, he added. “Do you think we are doing the right thing?”

Jemma looked back at him and he had a hard time reading her expression. “What does that even mean anymore, Fitz? The planet is about to blow up. If we cannot be killed, shouldn’t we use that to our advantage?”

“No, you are right. I just – I already let the team down. It just feels wrong to abandon Daisy and the team, like this. This is not us – we don’t just walk away.” he said.

“Precisely, Fitz. We need to start thinking differently, to do the unexpected. We would never walk away, that’s why we have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea was to dig a little deeper and try to see what went through Jemma's head to do the experiment. 
> 
> The Mack/Fitz scene is set post-5x13, pre-5x14 - Mack mentioned that him and Fitz were working on Yoyo's hand
> 
> The Fitz/Simmons scene continues at the end of 5x15
> 
> The Jemma/Daisy and the Jemma/Deke scene takes place just before 5x16 - Daisy mentioned that she and Jemma already had a conversation about Fitz.
> 
> The Yoyo/Jemma scene takes place during 5x16, just before the experiment.
> 
> The Fitz/Simmons scene takes place between when Fitz was freed but before they left of the quin-jet.
> 
> I think Jemma's experiment came from this idea of hers that in order to break the loop, they'll have to behave differently. For her, who is always so rational and reliable, it means to become more irrational and unpredictable.
> 
> Still, her experiment was designed to show (with probability):
> 
> \- they are still in the loop  
> \- the are protected in the loop  
> \- Fitz isn't actually as sure about the unfixed nature of time as he lets on.


	13. Family Portrait (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Fitz and Simmons see Deke - a short vignette.

 

  


**_It’s not that he doesn’t see it – he sees it with frightening clarity._**  
He sees it in his overeager puppy demeanour begging to be liked; never feeling good enough.  
He sees it in his fake confidence; a thin veneer barely covering the deep-rooted feelings of worthlessness of the abandoned child.  
He sees it in the sudden flash of fear in his eyes when he remembers the looming shadows.  
He sees it in his clenched fists as he tries to keep his anger in check, which bubbles like lava just under the surface; destructive and unpredictable.  
He sees it in the way he is trying to hide his sadness behind the clown’s mask that has become a permanent part of his face.  
He sees it in the cynical curve of his lips, too jaded to believe in goodness and loyalty.  
He hears it in the slight tremor of his voice as he talks; always doubting if what he says is good enough, smart enough.  
**_The signs are everywhere. He knows he let him down. He fears that it is too late; the darkness has already claimed him_**.

 

**_She sees it perfectly – even if he cannot._**  
She sees it in his unbridled enthusiasm to try everything new, in his unquenchable thirst for knowledge.  
She sees it in his vulnerability, as he opens up to strangers despite stories of betrayal and hurt repeating on endless loop in the soundtrack of his life.  
She sees it in his quiet courage, as he tries to brush off with a joke all heroic acts of self-sacrifice.    
She sees it in his hands as they move expertly ,connecting bits and pieces, instinctively understanding the intricate designs; creating and bringing order into chaos.  
She sees it in his eyes, on his face that he feels everything so deeply.  
She sees it in his gentle smile as he speaks words of comfort and hope.  
She hears it in his voice as it resonates with excitement whenever a new idea is born in his brilliant mind.  
**_The signs are everywhere. She knows his essence formed him. She trusts it is not too late; the path to the light is still open._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to capture my feelings on why Fitz and Simmons relate to Deke so differently.
> 
> Because there is so much similarity, Fitz focuses on the things he doesn't like in himself - sees all his negative attributes magnified in Deke. 
> 
> While Simmons sees Fitz's good qualities in him, which she finds endearing, but it is also in a way proof that Fitz finds his way back to his "old self", if he managed to pass these qualities down to his grandson (despite the odds).


	14. Sense of Touch (T, MackElena)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Yo-Yo, MackElena centric drabble, centered around the sense of touch. There is a bit of Fitz in it.

**Lighthouse 2018**

Elena stared into the mirror. The new arms looked like a sculpture – she has become a piece of post-modern art – "merging of machine and human" the pretentious title would say – a perfect allegory of modern society. It wasn’t the esthetic that bothered her – her nerve endings still burnt painfully from the new sensation. But the weirdest part was the loss of the sense of touch.

She remembered as a little girl running up to her grandmother’s house as _abuela_ was sitting in her workshop, shaping clay into objects of beauty – how that little girl she once was loved immersing her hands into the material – wet, silky smooth and cool. On other days she wanted to feel the crisp texture of the linen abuelita was embroidering. “ _No toques eso, mi ni_ _ña_ ” her grandmother would often admonish her, but she had to touch. It wasn’t real until she ran her fingers over it. Finally, her grandmother gave in and let Elena work alongside her. It turned out she had a natural talent for most crafts, her little hands picked up the movements easily and her fertile mind transformed objects exploding with bright colours. “ _Tus manos son regalos de Dios_ ” said abuela. A gift from God – now gone forever – Elena thought bitterly.

Elena started to brush her hair, but squeezed the brush-handle a little too hard and it snapped in half. Her metallic fingers got entangled in her hair and she cried out in pain. Mack appeared immediately; he was clearly hovering nearby ready to jump in at the slightest sign of distress. As much as Elena loved him, he was starting to drive her crazy with his constant attention.

He carefully disentangled her hair “Let me do this.”

“Since when are you a _peluquero_?” Elena scoffed skeptically.

“One cannot raise a little girl alone and not learn a thing or two about braids.” Mack replied smiling, but his eyes stayed sad, like every time he mentioned Hope.

Elena swallowed hard – sometimes it felt like the little girl’s memory cast a shadow between them. She tried to tell herself that Hope was not real, but it didn’t matter; the love, the loss were real. She wanted to reach for Mack’s hand to squeeze it, to let him know that she felt his pain too, but then she remembered, she had become part robot, the very thing Mack loathed so much. A comforting touch, once taken so much for granted was never an option anymore. So she just looked in the mirror and watched Mack as he gently brushed her hair until it was shiny and with his agile, mechanic’s hands made two perfect braids.

"You can't believe how many how-to-do videos there are on braiding." Mack muttered. "Hope and I watched many..."  The memories were real...

 _I look like a_ _ni_ _ña,_ Elena thought _and that’s how Mack’s treating me. Someone weak,  someone helpless, someone in need of constant supervision and protection._ Mack just couldn’t seem to understand that ever since she saw herself in the future, all she wanted was to fight that fate.

“Thank you.” Elena smiled weakly in the mirror.

“Anytime, love.” Mack replied and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I’m good. I want to try out my new arms, see if FitzSimmons are as good as they “theoretically” think they are.” she smiled looking at her shiny metallic fingers. _Maybe I will not be able to create anymore, but I can destroy. Maybe that’s what’s needed right now – my new gift, fit for the end of the world._

++++

**On the plane to England**

 

Elena settled across from Fitz and Simmons on the airplane.

“How long until we get there?” she asked eager to do something, to smash something, to stop waiting.

“About 6 hours.” Fitz replied. “It's the furthest coordinate but I think we have the best chance here.”

Yo-Yo could see that he was tense from the way he was nervously fidgeting with his wedding ring. She did not see what he did to Daisy, but Mack told her the story of his transformation into the fearful Doctor of the Framework. Yo-Yo had a hard time imagining him as fearful anything. With all that happened around them, with how she betrayed Mack, she was beyond judging anyone. Fitz did what he thought he had to; to protect people. That’s what she had been trying to explain to Mack – with the end of the world coming, different rules applied. She wondered if she was also going to have to do the hard thing - what her future self told her about Coulson kept her awake - she did not know what to do with the terrible knowledge. Should  _she tell them? Will they ever listen to her?_

She watched Fitz and Simmons - Elena understood Fitz; he risked losing Jemma to protect her, to protect all of them. A terrible gamble she was facing now to protect Mack. And Fitz did not lose her in the end. Jemma loved Fitz, she loved him whether he was right or wrong and supported him through whatever darkness he was fighting. She also made her choice and Elena knew in her heart, she would make the same choice if it ever came to it.  Jemma put her hand on Fitz's and they interlaced their fingers. Elena watched achingly the mundane gesture she would never experience again... She could see Fitz relax immediately. He almost melted into her touch, like always.

“I just hope nothing bad happens to the others while we are gone.” Jemma sighed. “I wish there was another way…”

“We did what we had to do. They’ll come around.” Elena said. At least she hoped. She hoped she hadn’t already lost Mack. But she had to try. The known path was leading nowhere good. They had to find a different way to a different future - the one where she and Mack could build a family together.

++++++++++

**2 years later**

 

Flint was crying again. Elena got out of the bed and hurried over to the nursery. She picked him up, but he cried even louder. She tried to soothe him but he wouldn’t calm down. Mack appeared in the doorway. “Can I try?” he asked quietly. She nodded and he took the baby, who immediately settled feeling safe and warm in his arms.

Elena looked at them with a sad smile. She should have been happy by all accounts. She was together with the love of her life who was the best father anyone could ask for, they had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. But she could not shake the feeling that she was failing him as a mother. The baby fussed whenever she touched him as if he was repulsed by her prosthetic arms. Her heart broke every time Mack had to take him from her to soothe him. She was a bit jealous how easy it seemed for Mack and she hated herself for such petty feelings. In truth, she just really longed to touch Flint, to be able to stroke him, tickle him, run her fingertips through his fine hair. She sat down on the couch. Mack gently placed the baby on her chest and he curled his tiny body against hers. Elena breathed in his sweet baby smell, and kissed the top of his head. She could still touch with her lips.

The doorbell rang and Mack got up. Elena heard a familiar accent filter through the hallway and smiled as she saw Fitz appear. He looked relaxed in a blue shirt and khakis – his hair was shorter and he got rid of most of his scruff.

“You lost your beard?” she asked.

“The little Miss found it too scratchy” Fitz shrugged. It was still difficult to see him as a father, but just like Mack, he settled into his role naturally, falling as hard for her daughter as he did for Jemma. Fatherhood also changed him subtly, he was more serene, there was less nervous energy surrounding him. “Can I hold him?” Fitz asked pointing at Flint.

Elena nodded and watched as Fitz picked up the baby with the confidence of a parent – the ease that comes from rocking a child through many sleepless nights.

“He’s great. Looks just like you – lucky for him…” he complimented Yo-Yo. Fitz gave back Flint to Elena and started to rummage around in the large backpack he brought with him.

“I brought you something.” he said, pulling out wires and gadgets.

“I know Mack hopes him to be an engineer, but a teddy bear would have been fine.” Elena said mockingly.

“It is way better than a teddy bear.” Fitz replied with a cocky smile and pulled out headsets that looked eerily familiar. Yo-Yo recoiled.

“What is that? You’re crazy if you think I’ll plug myself back into the Framework.” she said harshly. Fitz tensed up at the mention of the Framework for a moment.

He looked up at Elena and said calmly, “It’s based on the same technology, but it’s different. I call it the Virtual Sensory Playground – or VISP – well, I’m still working on the name. Anyway, you and Flint can try it out and see if he likes it.”

“There is no way, I’m going to put my son in that thing.” Elena scoffed.

“I put my daughter in it.” Fitz said quietly. “It’s really quite safe.”

Elena looked at Mack who was leaning against the doorway. “I think you should try it,” he said. Elena knew how much he disliked the Framework or any virtual mind games, but it clearly seemed like something he knew about and had discussed with Fitz beforehand. She was not sure how she felt about him doing all this behind her back, but she didn't want to disappoint him so she nodded.

She put on the headset while Fitz placed the other one on Flint’s head. At first Elena didn’t feel any different, but then she looked down and her hands looked normal. She felt her fingertips tingle. She touched her fingers together and the felt her own warm, dry skin. She felt. She ran a finger through her palm, and the feedback almost overwhelmed her.  

She then turned to Flint, her hands were shaking as she ran her fingers over his face. His skin felt so smooth and soft and silky, and sensation never before experienced. Flint opened his eyes wide in surprise and then something incredible happened – he started to giggle. Elena ran her fingers down his tiny body and tickled him gently. He giggled even louder – it was the sweetest sound.

“How did that feel?” Fitz asked looking at his tablet. Elena reluctantly took off the headset.

“Amazing.” Elena said with a smile. “You're right, better than a teddy bear.”

Fitz smiled back at her. 

++++

Mack and Fitz sat on the deck with some beer and stared into the starry night.

"Thanks, Turbo." Mack broke the silence. "I was skeptical at first, but I think this will really make a difference."

"It's the least, Mack. After all - after everything...I know it doesn't make up for all, but this is the kind of stuff I had in mind when I first started to work on the technology..." Fitz kept staring at his beer bottle, "- not the other thing." he added quietly.

"I know, buddy. Pursue the science wherever it may lead..." Mack said. "I mean, I still don't think you were right, but you weren't totally wrong either..." 

"Well, these days it just leads mostly to good old, boring renewable energy research." Fitz replied with a shrug.

"That sounds like a good thing." Mack took a sip of his beer. "Do you miss it?" he asked thoughtfully.

"SHIELD? Not the getting knocked out, kidnapped and beaten up part. But I miss you - I miss this - I miss the team. Every day." Fitz said circling his finger over the mouth of the bottle.

"Have you heard about her?" Mack looked at him.

Fitz shook his head. "You?"

"No." Mack sighed. "I wonder.. if I should.."

"Give her space. She'll be back when she's ready." 

Mack nodded. They continued to look at the dark sky and listened to the delighted laughter of Elena and the baby filtering through the screen-door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In 3x11, Elena is introduced as an "art classes at night" - I thought that someone who is an artist it would be doubly devastating to lose her ability to touch, so I had to do something with it.
> 
> The idea of Mack doing Elena's hair comes from 3x16, when we see her with those braids.
> 
> I'm getting more and more desparate for Fitz getting finally back to creating things "to help people", and thought how great it would be if the Framework was used as it was orginally intended.
> 
> Finally, I expect this season ending with the team going their own way for a while (before of course getting back together to save the world).
> 
> I wrote this before 5x18, so none of the dark events from that episode are mentioned here.


	15. A Multiverse Story (G, FitzSimmons Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSimmons family and multiverse theory. Most of the story takes place between 5x18 and 5x19, with two glimpses into the future.  
> Fitz POV / Deke POV 
> 
> Triggers: there is an implied character death, but doesn't really stick, because of loop.

**Lighthouse 2028**

 

“What’s for breakfast? Not this terrible gooey porridge again, Daddy.” Fitz looked at his daughter’s glum face. The day Jemma was killed, the last ray of sunshine left their bunker room. Ever since, he felt like wanting to curl up in a corner and die, but he had things to finish and a daughter to take care of. So he told himself again he could not fail Jemma, he could not fail their daughter. _What would she do?_ he wondered. She always had the words, she always found the comfort.

“Well, little monkey, there is a parallel universe where I’m sitting in the sun eating a prosciutto mozzarella sandwich with homemade pesto aioli that is the best thing in the world, because your mum makes it just perfect. What are you eating?” The girl’s face lit up a little – it was her mother’s game.

“In a parallel universe I’m eating real oranges straight from an orange tree and they are so good.” she replied with a smile.

“That sounds wonderful. I bet in a parallel universe somewhere, we are on an adventure discovering new things right now.” Fitz continued, thinking of Jemma’s love of adventures that brought them together.

“Where would we go?” she asked.

“Your mum always wanted to see the Great Wall of China. I bet in a parallel universe we are sitting on top of it, dangling our feet from the edges.” Fitz said. She smiled for a moment then the tears started to pool in her eyes.

“I miss her so much, Daddy.” she whispered.

“Me too, honey.” he replied his voice hoarse with unshed tears, wrapping his arms around her.

“I wish it was true – the multiverse.” she muttered into his neck. Fitz kept thinking of the loop of doom that they were stuck in. Cruel and unchangeable. _Is that what you are going to tell her?_ He heard Jemma’s scolding voice in his mind.

“It’s science, little monkey.” he replied.

“So you believe it’s true?” she was clearly not satisfied with the evasive answer. Fitz swallowed hard. He could not bear lying to her, but did not want to break her spirit.

“I believe in science. Your mother did too. And she was the smartest person I ever knew. It must be true.” he said finally. They used to argue endlessly with Jemma, who kept believing the loop could be broken, but every time they tried it ended up the same way. The evidence was overwhelming. Still, Fitz never wished so much in his life to be proven wrong.

 

**Lighthouse 2018**

Fitz woke up from his painkiller-induced slumber when the plane landed with a thump. The sharp pain in his ribs was back reminding him keenly of the stressful hours with Ruby and he had a hard time to breathe. He looked around for Jemma in the little bunk where they retreated to escape Daisy’s stony silence after securing the transfer of the equipment onto the plane, but could not see her. He stumbled toward the cargo ramp, but stopped in his tracks as he heard fragments of an agitated argument. His stomach was in knots as he heard the rising voices of Jemma and Daisy.

“You can’t put him back in lock-up – his ribs are cracked. He needs medical attention..” Jemma said sharply.

“He wouldn’t be hurt if you didn’t go against my express orders.” Daisy snapped back. Fitz’s heart sank. Not only did he destroy his own friendship with Daisy, but also the close bond Jemma shared with her.

“Oh – well, if you only bothered to listen to us in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to…” Fitz recognized the cold edge in Jemma’s voice – it was a sign that she would fight her argument to her last breath.

“And what did you achieve?  You put Ruby in a machine..” Daisy replied sarcastically.

Jemma scoffed and her voice went up an octave. “We didn’t have a choice. And we delayed her. Without us, she could be ripping the Earth apart right now. But you decided to drag Robin out instead…”

“And I found Coulson…” Daisy shot back.

“You endangered a little girl.” Jemma continued.

“Robin is safe.” said Daisy.

The ramp door opened wih a loud creak and Coulson was standing at the bottom. “Welcome home.” he greeted them. Then he looked at the machine.  “So this is it? The Destroyer?” he asked. When Daisy and Jemma didn’t reply, he cocked an eyebrow. “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Daisy wants to lock up Fitz again. But he is injured, sir and it is my medical op..” Jemma started.

“Oh, come on, Simmons…it’s not like you are impartial..” Daisy interrupted.

 “OK, stop.” Coulson said on a weary voice. “Locking-up Fitz is not an option, because as it happens there is a new guest in holding.”

“What?” both Daisy and Jemma looked at him in alarm.

“Talbot. Hale brainwashed him. He attacked Polly and tried to kidnap Robin.” Coulson replied.

“Are they ok?” asked May worried as she emerged from the cockpit.

“Yeah. We iced him and locked him up for his own good.” Coulson then turned to Simmons. “Patch up Fitz and you two need to come up with a workable solution how we get rid of this stuff. Mack and Deke also need help finishing the upgrades on the Zephyr.”

“But, sir…” started Daisy.

“We don’t have time for this now – we’ll deal with it later.” Coulson replied. “Simmons, Fitz is your responsibility. Understood?” Coulson warned.

“Yes, sir.” Jemma said.

Daisy, May and Coulson left the ramp together and Jemma started to give orders to the agents who came to help transfer the gravitonium to the lab.

Fitz decided that it was time come out of his hiding spot. He slowly moved toward the ramp and was grateful when Jemma was immediately at his side for support.

“Jemma…” he started and tried to think of how he could express the magnitude of all he felt. It was impossible to describe what it meant to him that she stood by his side all this time, defending him at the expense of her own relationship with the team, despite all the horrible things she had seen him do. Her love was his only link to sanity, holding him together. Jemma looked at him with a question in her eyes, but when the words just failed to come, she simply took his hand.

“Come, Fitz, let me check out your ribs properly.”

They made their way over to the med bay slowly. As they entered, they found Deke sitting on the bed, his face full of biscuits.

“Mack sent me so you can check over my stitches”, he said to Jemma his mouth full. “And by the way that was not OK going off like that and putting yourselves into that kind of danger. What were you thinking?” he added after he swallowed with a disapproving look.

“What stitches? What happened to you?,” they asked him.

“I got shot. I was providing back-up for Daisy”, shrugged Deke trying to make light of it. Fitz looked at Simmons and saw in her eyes that Deke’s apparent infatuation with Daisy was not lost on her either.

Jemma checked the wound with concern, running her fingers over the stitches that were bright purple. “Who patched you up?”

“Mack and Piper, I think. I was out for the most part.”  Fitz saw Jemma’s lips twitch for a moment, but then she bit back whatever comment was on her mind.

“They did a great job, Deke.”, she smiled at him reassuringly.

“Well, I’m glad you guys made it back.” Deke said and got up with a groan. He headed for the door.

“Deke, we’ll be working in the lab on the gravitonium – maybe you could give us a hand?” Jemma asked.

Deke stopped and looked back at them surprised. “Yeah, sure.” he agreed nonchalantly, but Fitz saw in his eyes a glimmer of excitement.

When Deke left, Fitz turned to Jemma. “Really? You know I don’t like new people in the lab…”

She helped him shrug out of his shirt. Every movement hurt. “He’s not a stranger, Fitz, he’s our grandson.” she said “Only technically.” grumbled Fitz who still felt shocked by the news. _How did one relate to his grown-up grandson from the future?_   The whole situation felt like a cosmic joke. Jemma sighed. “I feel bad, I should have been here…Maybe it was a mistake to go.”

“Well, if we hadn’t gone, Ruby would be roaming free..” Fitz replied trying to reassure her. He lost confidence in his own decisions and needed Jemma's confidence. How were they supposed to know that their annoying grandson would end up getting himself into trouble.

“I know – but still. He could have died…” Jemma said clearly upset.

“Well, there’s a real possibility that he will not make it anyways.…” Fitz blurted out a thought that had been buzzing in his mind like an annoying fly as he kept thinking about their loop theory.

“What do you mean?” Jemma looked at him with a frown.

“Think about it, Jemma – if we break the loop – the timeline in which he was born never happened – he may just disappear – blink out of existence…I mean in your second year paper on anomalies..” he said hesitantly.

Jemma cut him off sharply. “That was just a theory, Fitz. We don’t know what will happen…The science is…”

“The science is as sound as your little theory of invincibility..” Fitz interrupted, still annoyed with her reckless experiment.

Jemma shook her head. “Still… that’s just one way it could go down…Really, let’s not think of the worst.”

Fitz had no idea how he was not supposed to think of worst-case scenarios, when that’s all they seemed to live for months now.

*****

+++

Fitz was grateful for being able to throw himself back into work despite his aching ribs. Anything that occupied his mind other than contemplating all the ways he hurt everyone he cared about was a blessing. To his surprise, Deke’s presence in the lab was not as aggravating as he had expected it to be. He was actually quite good with mechanical stuff and a very quick study. Fitz found himself secretly enjoying explaining things to him. Still, it was unnerving to watch him as he lined up his tools the same way Fitz always did, or hear his own words back from his mouth. Every once in a while he would say something revealing of the horrors of his childhood. Fitz and Jemma always exchanged a guilty look. Fitz wondered how many times that had already failed him in the unyielding loop.

Deke seemed to be interested in everything, and volunteered to go with him when he started to work on recalibrating Yo-Yo’s arms.

“So how does this feel?” Fitz asked as he tucked back the wires inside the robotic arms and handed over the screwdriver to Deke to free his hands for reattaching them.

“Much better.” Elena replied after a trial spin. “Do you think we have broken the Loop?” she asked Fitz.

Her face was troubled. Fitz knew she wanted reassurance that she did the right thing; he had been struggling with the same question ever since he forcibly gave back Daisy’s powers. He remembered with horror Ruby lying in a pool of blood. But he was not really the guy to tell someone whether they were right or wrong. Jemma was convinced that hard choices were needed, but Fitz started to wonder if in their desperation to change the future, they were all becoming monsters somehow.

“I don’t think we have yet – not until we find a way to destroy the gravitonium.” he replied honestly.

“And you think you can?” Elena asked.

“No, not on Earth. But perhaps in space. We are getting the Zephyr ready…Do you know if Mack is done with the navigation?” he asked.

“Mack is not talking to me.“ Elena said matter-of-factly, but Fitz saw the pain in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” he replied softly.

“Yeah, he’s almost finished.” Deke replied from the corner where he was packing up the tools. “I’ve helped him rewire the stuff…but there is a bit we couldn’t figure out based on the schematics. You should come and take a look.”

“OK” Fitz said and pursed his lips. Between the Mech shooting Mack’s leg and Yo-Yo and Jemma tricking him, he was not too keen to face his friend. He was tired of feeling guilty all the time, he was tired of being the bad guy. Still, it had to be done.

“Where is Jemma? “ Yo-Yo asked. “I thought you guys are not leaving each other’s side anymore…”

Deke perked up in the corner. “Is that so? I think it’s a very sensible rule.” he said. Fitz grimaced at him. Deke seemed overinvested in their well-being, but Fitz suspected he had ulterior motives, as always.

“She’s working on the machine in the lab.” Fitz replied to Elena. “Anyways, as long as we are in this Apocalypsis-proof bunker, nothing bad can really happen.”

“Bad things already happened here, Fitz.” Elena said pointedly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Fitz replied.

++++

.

Fitz made his way over to the Zephyr with Deke in toe. He took a deep breath before entering. Mack was kneeling on the floor under a spaghetti-bowl of wires, furrowing his eye-brows at the schematics.

Fitz stepped closer.

“Hey, Fitz.” Mack said, all business-like. “Deke and I have a hard time figuring out how this bit is supposed to go together…” he pointed under the panel.

Fitz bounced on his feet trying to decide where to start his apology. “Look, Mack, about what happened…”

Mack cut him off with a wave of his hand. “You know, I just want fix this damned airplane, get rid of the gravitonium and put all this future-crap behind us so everyone can stop behaving like lunatics. I just want to get out of this freakhouse and go get tacos...”

"Tacos sounds good." Deke butted in. Fitz and Mack glared at him.

Fitz bowed his head. “Right… still, I never wanted anyone to get hurt…I’m sorry.”

Mack nodded.  Fitz kneeled down next to him and started to sort through the wires. They worked side by side like they used to and Fitz felt like he could breathe a bit more.

 

++++

Deke watched his grandparents with fascination. His mom was right, they were the smartest people he had ever met and felt ridiculously inadequate in their presence. _It must be a disappointment to have an idiot for a grandson_ , he thought bitterly. The way they talked and moved around in the lab seemed like a sophisticated song and dance. It was clearly their territory. Deke tried to make himself useful and listen to their conversation in hopes of catching some story that would reveal more of their past.

“What do you think – it almost looks like it has its own will.” Jemma said as she looked perplexed into the gravitonium box.

“What do you mean? Is that even possible?” wondered aloud Deke. Jemma and Fitz turned their heads towards him and they seemed genuinely surprised as if they had forgotten he was there.

“Come look.” Fitz motioned with his head. “It does not look like the same element as we saw in the future.” Deke peaked into the box and the gravitonium indeed seemed different. It almost looked like it was swirling with ominous dark rage.

“So what do we do? How do we destroy it without possibly destroying everything else with it?” Jemma asked with a sigh.

“And how do we get some of the non-sentient stuff to power the Zephyr?” Fitz added.

“Well, we figured it out before in the loop. So we can do it again.” Jemma replied cheerfully. Her boundless optimism reminded Deke of his mom.

Deke looked at her surprised. “Wait, why do you think it’s a loop? Wouldn’t that mean that we can’t change it?”

“If the gravitonium is destroyed, it cannot destroy the Earth. That would break the loop.” Jemma explained confidently.

“But what about the multiverse?” Deke exclaimed.

“What about it?” asked Fitz looking at him strangely. “It’s a theory too…” interjected Jemma with a sweet smile. “But in this case – quite unlikely.” added Fitz with a pointed look.

“It’s science and it means that we can change all this – and there will be forever sun and ocean, and oranges…” Deke said agitated. He wanted reassurance that all the amazing wonders he was about to experience were here to stay and that he was here to stay too.

“Deke... listen...” Fitz said with a perturbed look on his face. But before he had a chance to finish, Jemma’s excited voice interrupted him.

“The sun, Fitz, the sun.  That’s how we destroy it.” she exclaimed. Deke had no idea what she meant, but Fitz seemed to immediately follow her thought. “The 0-8-4 protocol, right. By shooting it into the sun using the Zephyr’s anti-gravity…” Deke cut him off. “Is that even possible? It’s a bad idea. And how do you know it won’t quake the sun apart…?” Fitz raised a finger that Deke by now understood was meant to warn him to hold the thought until Fitz had time to explain.

“We have a problem though. We need some gravitonium so the Zephyr can navigate in space. The not-possessed type.” Fitz said.

“And we need to somehow refine it…Did you just say possessed?” Jemma asked with some amusement. Fitz shrugged.

“You could ask Daisy – she did it before…” Deke suggested.

“No.” They both said at once. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Maybe we could check the machine for residues.” Fitz suggested.

“Yeah that sounds like a plan…” Jemma nodded and they both set to work.

 

 

**2078 Lighthouse**

Deke watched his mother look through a stack of drawings with a troubled expression. He hated it when she looked so shaken.

“Mom, would you tell me a multiverse story?” he asked knowing that the game reminded her of Bobo and always brought a wistful smile on her face.

“Where would you like to go?” she asked and her expression softened.

“Some place with ocean and palm trees.” Deke replied. Virgil showed him a picture of a beach that he found in an old magazine.

“How about Orlando?” she asked. Deke had no idea what it was, but any place in the multiverse was bound to be magical compared to the Lighthouse.

“Sounds perfect. Tell me about that, mom.” he agreed.

“So there is a parallel universe, where you and I right now are going on magical ride, there is sunshine in our face and wind in our hair and it’s so much fun – and when we finish, we get off the ride and I buy you an ice cream. What flavour would you have?” she asked.

Deke thought long and hard. In truth, he didn’t know much about flavours – their diet consisted of a disgusting reconstituted protein. But he _heard_ of flavours and even seen a picture of an ice cream in Virgil's secret stash.

“Chocolate and banana…” he replied.

“Perfect. And it’s sweet and cool and melts in your mouth…” Deke closed his eyes and tried to picture it, but it was hard without a point of reference.

“Mum, I wish it was true.” he sighed.

“Of course it’s true. Nana and Bobo believed it – it’s science. It's quantum physics.” his mum replied, her voice full of conviction. Nana and Bobo were almost mythical creatures – according to his mum the smartest and best people ever.

“I wish I knew them, mom.” Deke said softly.

“There is a parallel universe where you meet them, Deke. And they are so delighted to know you.” his mum replied with a warm smile. _Now I just have to figure out a way to get to that place_ , Deke thought.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5x19 left me with lots of questions 
> 
> How did Deke learn about the multiverse theory?  
> What happened in the lab while Deke was consulting?  
> Daisy and Jemma seemed to have a fallout at some point on the way back from England.  
> How did Coulson react to their disagreement and to Fitz?  
> How did Deke learn about the FitzSimmons RULE?  
> Where did he hear about the Great Wall or Orlando?
> 
> I felt also that there had to be a bit of warming up between Mack and Fitz and we know Fitz recalibrated Yoyo's arms.


	16. Zephyr (G, Fitz-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the story of Fitz and Zephyr through space-time. 
> 
> Missing scenes for 2x21, post 2x22, post 3x22, 5x20 and S6 speculation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Zephyr is one of the most intriguing pieces of Fitz design. He started sometime at the end of S2, and finished it during Jemma's absence, the same time he was driving himself crazy trying to find her. 
> 
> He made the upgrade plan sometimes between S3 and S4, after Lincoln's death, when Daisy quit. 
> 
> He put it into space at his low-point is S5, finishing the design through the loop paradox. 
> 
> The Zephyr is instrumental both in bringing the team back from the future, but at the end of the day, it's also how Jemma can save CryoFitz.

**1995 – Glasgow**

The lines were a bit smudged, as he kept drawing leaning over his sketchbook. His father’s angry words still echoing in his head – _you are so dumb, you’ll never be anything_ , _wasting your time with these worthless things_. He raised his head startled as the door opened, trying to hide his sketchbook under his blanket and sighed in relief when he saw that it was his mother. “You should be sleeping, Leo. It’s school day tomorrow,” she said gently.

“Just a few more minutes, mum.” he begged – the ideas were circling in his head, begging to be brought to life.

She stepped closer and looked at his drawing. “What is it?”

“It’s an airplane, mum. I will build it one day and it will fly in space, just like those Romulan Bird-of-Prey. But it will be even better.” he said.

“I bet you will, honey.” she smiled back at him. “But it’s past midnight. You should sleep now.”

“I will, mum. Just five more minutes…I promise.” he bargained. His mom leaned closer and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“You’ll have a lifetime to create this; you don’t have to do it all in one night.” She smiled, but then acquiesced. “Five more minutes, Leo. Not a second more.”

++++++

**2016 – Playground**

The lines had become blurry on his screen. Fitz rubbed his eyes, tearing up with tiredness as he kept working. For months it had felt like his brain was foggy, and while he could see the ideas forming, they often disappeared before he managed to catch them, like butterflies in the summer meadow. Tonight though he could focus – he could see it in his head once again crystal clear: the graceful lines, the wires running through it, the motor, and the control centre. The lines of his plane that he had been dreaming of designing ever since he was a child were etched in his brain.

He leaned back on his chair and started rummaging around his drawer for his sketchbook. Even though he left the lab to go to the garage, Simmons kept his workspace untouched, clearly expecting his absence to be temporary. In all honesty, it felt good to be back. The garage was empty anyways, ever since Mack decided to leave. Fitz was still oscillating between feeling sad about him leaving and being angry that Mack used their friendship to betray him.  Luckily, the unbearable tension between him and Simmons had finally lifted and slowly they started to get back to into their groove. It was not exactly like before, the weirdness over his blurted out confession lingered just under the surface, but they both became better at ignoring it.  

“You’re still here?” Simmons asked as she entered the lab. “Fitz, have you been up all night?” her tone was worried. Fitz simultaneously loved and hated it when Jemma was mothering him.

“Yeah – I wanted to finish this before it all became jumbled in my head again.” he shrugged. “I finished the first concept sketch…”

Jemma stepped closer to look at the outline. She leaned over Fitz’s desk as she flipped through the different drawings their shoulders almost touching. Fitz felt disoriented by her closeness – it used to be so normal, so familiar, but after the months of distance, it was almost overwhelming. He nervously fidgeted with a wire, wrapping it around his fingers as he waited for her to say something.

Finally, she turned around and looked at him with a smile that lit up her entire face. “Fitz, this is stunning.”  He let out the breath he was holding, and smiled back in relief. Jemma praising his work was a feeling that never got old – but ever since his brain injury, he never stopped second-guessing the occasional compliment he got from her. However, this time it felt completely sincere and for the first time in months, it felt like his mind was his own again.

“Yeah, I think Coulson will like it.” he said simply. “Maybe even May.”

“Does it have a name yet?” Jemma asked.

“Uuuuh, I haven’t really given it much thought…” said Fitz, but really he knew. He has known it since he was a child. “Zephyr, I think…”

“The Greek god of the gentle, west wind.” Jemma mused. “How fitting – I like it.”  Of course, Jemma would know things like that. She was a complete and total astronomy buff, and knew all Greek mythology by heart.

“I actually got the name from a videogame.” he grinned.

“Of course you did.” Jemma laughed and the sweet sound filled the empty lab and Fitz’s heart.

 

++++

The lines made no sense. Fitz was leaning over the microscope trying to understand the properties of the damned stone that took Jemma. But the inner structure was unlike anything he had ever seen before.

“Turbo” Mack’s booming voice interrupted him. “It’s time. Your bird is about to take flight.”

“I’ll be there in a minute, Mack.” he replied irritated. “I’ve just got something, here.  One last thing…”

“Well you need to come, buddy. Coulson insists that you are there for the trial spin.” Mack repeated firmly.

“Yeah, OK, fine.” Fitz sighed in frustration, grabbed the tablet and trotted along glumly with Mack.

“You don’t sleep, you don’t eat – how long do you think you can keep this up?” Mack grumbled.

Fitz shrugged. “I can’t sleep anyways – I need to figure this out. I need to find Simmons – I can’t let her down.”

Mack opened his mouth to say something, but then just pursed his lips. Fitz knew that everyone pitied him. After the first month of frantic search they all moved on to other thing, but he could not give up until he was sure.

Coulson was waiting for them in the hangar.  His face was stony – ever since May left, he did not smile much. Normally the launch of a new plane would have had them both giddy.

“This is impressive, Agent Fitz… Now let’s see what this bird can do in action. Though it feels wrong – without May…she should be the one doing this.”

“Yes, sir.” Fitz said, lost in his thoughts. He wanted both of them to be here – Jemma who would understand and appreciate the physics and May who would be able to feel the plane in ways no one else could. Instead, another pilot, whose name Fitz forgot, if he ever knew waved out of the cockpit.

 Fitz looked at his tablet “All systems a go.”

The engines whirred and the Zephyr started to ascend in a straight line with gracefulness and might.

“That’s quite something, Turbo.” Mack grinned.

Fitz nodded. He felt nothing at all.

++++

 

**2017 - Playground**

 

The lines started to make sense. Fitz looked up when he heard footsteps and Jemma entered the lab. “I’ve been looking for you. What are you working on?” she glanced over his shoulders.

“I have some ideas to upgrade the Zephyr.” Fitz pointed at the computer screen.

“It’s almost brand new, it doesn’t need any upgrades.”

“I’m thinking with extra thrusters – we could make it better – to manoeuvre at high altitudes…” Fitz pointed to the new additions on the drawing.

He saw Jemma’s eyes soften with concern and she put a hand on his shoulders “…in space, you mean. Fitz, what happened to Lincoln – that wasn’t your fault…”

“It changed everything.” Fitz could not control the bitterness in his voice.  “Look around, Jemma – Daisy has left, Coulson is resigning – we need to fix this.”

“And you think upgrading the Zephyr will fix it?” she asked incredulously.

“I don’t know. Maybe not. But that’s the only thing I can fix – so… Anyways, it’s all just theory. Without somehow creating artificial gravity, none of this works.” he sighed in exasperation. The solution had been eluding him.

Jemma set on his desk facing him. “Fitz, look at me. “ she said, he voice solemn. “The Zephyr is already magnificent. It’s perfect. But if you want to make it fly in space – I am sure you will find a way. You remember what you always tell me?” her hands gently touched his face.

“Yeah, yeah – to sleep on it.” Fitz nodded.

“Well, but only after….” she added with a coy smile.

“After what?” Fitz asked leaning closer as his brain started switching gears, leaving behind all questions of physics, replacing them with a single burning question, more biological in nature.

“After that…” she leaned closer and her lips brushed his slowly and tantalizingly.

+++++

**2018 - Lighthouse**

The lines were invisible, yet clearly drawn. There was the team on one side - and Fitz; broken, dangerous, to be contained, on the other side.  Mack’s words were ringing in his ear. Fixing – he needed fixing… but clearly the damage he had done was beyond repair. Despite giving up his soul, he just made things worse as they were spinning uncontrollably once again into the loop of destruction.

Fitz bit his lips; his eyes remained dry, but he was crying inside. Somewhere under the rubble of two lives shattered from unbearable pain and unforgivable sins, there was the boy who could still cry. The boy who dreamt of building beautiful things that helped people. The boy who swore that someday he would create a spaceship. He stared at his tablet looking at the ascent of the Zephyr, but instead of the joy of creation and exploration, he just felt the infinite menacing vacuum of space.

Jemma’s footsteps startled him. She looked at him sitting on the floor with his head against the wall.

“I’ve been trying to find you.” she said and could not hide the worry in her eyes behind the thin smile. “I could use your help with something…” she added. They were both exhausted, but Jemma never stopped fighting, not until there was a sliver of hope left. Fitz had long admired her perseverance.  He wished he had the strength to let her go, to cut her free from his misery, but in truth, he needed her. She was everything – her love wrapped him in a soft, soothing blanket where he found moments of refuge from the war inside his head and from the icy silence that surrounded him these days.

 He sighed, “Maybe it’s best if my ideas stay inside my head.”

Jemma’s face became more troubled. “Why are you saying this? Did something happen? Do you hear _him_ again?” she whispered.

Fitz shook his head. “It’s not like that. Not anymore. He doesn’t have a separate voice – not since what he, what _I_ did to Daisy – because it’s me, Jemma, it has always been me. When I think of something, I can’t tell anymore if it comes from “him” or me, it’s all too blurry. We are getting close to the end of the line and who knows what dangerous ideas I may come up with… I see the way people are looking at me…maybe my mind has been infected with the Darkhold too.”

“Oh, Fitz.” Jemma sat down next to him and held his hand between her palms. Fitz realized that it had been shaking again. She started to massage it gently in soothing, circular motions, stopping to trace the line of his ring under her thumb. “If we don’t dare to think it, how could we ever create it? Look at the Zephyr” she pointed at the tablet. “…that came from inside you, Fitz. You dreamt it, pursued it and perfected it, because it was a part of you that needed to be born. If we save the world, it will be because your dream got us home. That boy, who had that dream, who wasn’t afraid to think about the infinite, that’s you. And yes, there is infinite darkness in space, but also infinite light. Without the darkness we cannot see the beauty of light.”

Fitz listened to her motionlessly. Jemma always had a way, she always found the words he needed to hear. Her love felt like grace, a positive energy that radiated towards him no matter how undeserving he felt. “Jemma…” Fitz started…“have I ever told you that you are the most magnificent and extraordinary person I have ever met in any galaxy?”

“Not nearly often enough…” a wide smile lit up her entire face.

“I couldn’t do this alone.” Fitz stood up. There was work to do.

“Me neither.” She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up. “Come on now, let’s take a look at this thing. It may be our lost shot at getting things right.” she added.

“And if we don’t?” he asked heavily.

Jemma placed her palm on his chest, and he could almost feel the hope seep inside him and take root in his heart. “Then we get ready – knowing that we’ll meet our daughter and we’ll love her and each other as much as we can, as long as we have – and we’ll try again. We’ll always get to try again, Fitz. Until we’ll finally fix it.”

 

+++

**2019 – Zephyr – somewhere in space**

The lines and angles were just as he remembered. Fitz slowly moved around the Zephyr, gently running his fingers through the sideboards. Before he went to into the cryosleep, he left the plane carefully cloaked, close to the Lighthouse and now it was here in space. He felt irrationally inadequate that some other version of him managed to figure out the problem that he had been beating his head against for so long.

“You solved it in your sleep.” Jemma said smiling after she had given him a quick outline of what he missed – just a few months, yet it felt that he lost so much more. Jemma’s ring was a painful reminder of that – she married a hero; someone he maybe could have been, instead of this broken man who woke up haunted by the same nightmares as before he climbed into the icy coffin. Between his different selves across space-time and virtual reality, it was difficult to know who he was anymore. He felt fragmented.

His eyes settled on the commemorative plaque for Coulson – despite how Jemma tried to sugarcoat it, Fitz knew that he was responsible. In pursuit of a mirage of the father he thought he wanted, he killed the only father he ever had. The only one that ever mattered.

He entered the engine room and looked around, taking in the modifications. He opened the panel and there it was – he watched mesmerised as the gravitonium pulsated in the containers like two lava lamps. A simple, elegant design.

“Hey, Turbo.” Mack’s deep voice broke his reverie.

“Hey, Mack. I mean… I guess I should call you Director, sir, now?” he smiled. He missed Coulson, but he was happy for his friend. “It suits you well…”

“Mack is fine, buddy.” he patted Fitz on the shoulder. “Can’t sleep?”

“I feel like, I’ve already missed out on too much.” Fitz shrugged. Mack nodded in sympathy.

“This whole thing is just crazy.” Mack started to unpack a toolbox. “Well, maybe you can give me a hand with the navigation – it’s been kind of wonky…”

“At this point you probably know way more about this plane than I do, Mack.” Fitz said not without resentment.

“The Zephyr is all you, Fitz. You know everything about this bird – every screw, every wire – we just followed your design.” Mack gave him a wrench.

Fitz nodded then took a deep breath. It was time to start trying to make amends. Mack was a good place to start. “I’m sorry, Mack.” he swallowed. “For everything, for AIDA, the Framework, whatever I’ve done in the future, really, everything this team has been through because of me.”

Fitz was surprised when he saw tears welling up in Mack’s eyes.  “We had an unfinished conversation… before you…”

“Before I died?” Fitz supplied helpfully. Jemma told him about his death, but it was so bizarre that his mind had not yet managed to process it. It felt like a sick, cosmic joke – Schrodinger’s Fitz, both dead and alive.

“That too. But I mean before the Framework.” Mack replied.

Fitz searched his memory, so many arguments to remember. “Yes, I remember. When you called me a mad scientist? I guess you were right.”

Mack sighed…“Fitz, what I’m trying to say – that the Framework – yes, it was a twisted mind prison. But for me, it was also different, because there was good in it too. I got a second chance, I got to know my daughter…”

“…but she wasn’t real.” Fitz interjected.

“No, but the love was real. What I felt was real – and it will always be a part of me. And that’s good. What I’m trying to say, I guess – you pursue the science, push limits and sometimes it turns into a nightmare like the Framework, or killing robots, but it still also has good in it – like getting a second chance or growing new arms for someone, or transforming a plane into a spaceship.” Mack replied. “I didn’t understand it then, because I’m afraid to think these things, but you are not. You are imagining things that can be both good and evil, but in the end, when it comes down to the line, your heart is always in the right place. I should have never forgotten that. And you should never forget that, whatever happens.”

Fitz listened in silence trying to understand his friend. Ever since he woke up, it felt like his interactions with the others were layered with things he had no memories of.

”So what do we do?” he asked finally.

“What we always do, Turbo. What we should have done in the first place.” Mack replied. “We fix things together. You remember?”

“The best thing to clear your mind. I remember, Mack” Fitz nodded and tightened his grip on the wrench as he got under the navigation panel. It was the first time he had seen it, yet it was intensely familiar. To others it may have looked like a labyrinth of jumbled wires, but  Fitz could always make sense of the patterns.

 

++++

 

The lines that pain and loss etched on her face were barely visible. Fitz looked at Jemma peacefully asleep, curled up on her side, wondering if he would ever be able to make things work with her. It was so unbelievably complicated. She crossed space to find him, but she also carried the ghost of who he was.

She stirred as she felt Fitz’s presence and opened her eyes smiling at him. He hesitantly placed his palm on her stomach. It felt strange, hard as a rock, yet full of life. The baby inside stirred and he could feel the kicks.

“She’s saying hi to daddy…” Jemma whispered. Out of this crazy story, this was maybe the craziest part – becoming the father of the child of his self that died.

“Where were you?” Jemma asked with a yawn.

“Helping Mack with fixing the navigation. There was a short in the system.” Fitz replied as his hand absentmindedly circled her bump. “It felt good – like old times. Fixing things, working with my hand, helps me figure things out.”

“And what did you figure out?” Jemma put her hand on top of his.

“Well, I’m trying to wrap my mind around this. And I realized – that other me, he’s a permutation…” Fitz started.

Jemma nodded immediately “…the same set arranged in a different order…”

“Exactly. So we are the same mostly, the same elements, but arranged differently...”

“..the outcome changes.” Jemma finished.

“Yes, and it’s both scary and liberating – because while that other me is one possible outcome of who I am, in this version I can still affect my own outcome. I’m not fully bound by his choices, his mistakes.” he finished.

“I think that’s a pretty good way of describing it. And what you need to understand, Fitz – that to me it’s all you – and I love you in all your different permutations.” Jemma smiled warmly though there was just a hint of sadness.

“And that’s how I can wake up to a new world of you and this immaculate conception…” Fitz pointed to her belly.

Jemma’s eyes lit up with a naughty glimmer that Fitz loved so much “I can assure you Fitz, there was nothing immaculate about it. In fact, I’m pretty sure it happened right here on the Zephyr…”

“Is that so?” Fitz curled up around her, taking it all in; the familiar curve of her back and the unfamiliar curve of her belly. Even though they all changed by their impossible zigzag through space-time, this – the Zephyr and Jemma – was still home.

 

 

 


	17. Coda (T, Fitz-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small moment to tie together this strange family story through spacetime - angst with a bit of closure?
> 
> Trigger warning: Fitz's death

Mack’s voice starts to fade away, it feels like it’s coming from underwater. His face and May’s become blurry, they are disappearing behind a veil. The dust swirls around in a curious dance in the light and it is not grey anymore but bright white. He does not feel pain for which he is grateful. He realizes now what is happening; he has been through it enough times. Yet, it is also new and different. If Jemma were here, she would make a comment about winning this particular argument, and he has never been happier to be proven wrong. He is not afraid – time that played on an infinite loop has become finite and is slipping away from him. Somehow, it is liberating. Each tick, each faltering heartbeat bringing him closer to the final proof.

He should think of the things he left unsaid. He should think of the first law of thermodynamics. He should think of Jemma. Instead he sees a different face – strange yet intensely familiar. She looks at him with Jemma’s smiling eyes and so much love that it makes him dizzy. He recognizes her instantly, even though they never met, not in this lifetime. Still, her entire being is etched into his heart.

“We did it, Dad.” she says with a soft smile. “We saved them all. Together. Just like you said we would.”

“I couldn’t save you, little monkey… I’m so sorry. I wanted you to have it all.”

“I had you, Dad. You loved me through all these lifetimes the best you could and that was more than enough. Mum is alive, my son is free now. We solved it together and I have no regrets.”

He looks at her and she is so beautiful, strong and brave, just like her mother. His heart overfills with awe and love. He has no regrets either. She holds out her hand and one breath, one final small step is all it takes. In the right direction. Into the mysterious unknown of the fourth dimension where together they fixed the unfixable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all who read my stories, and left encouragement in the form of comments, kudos or helping me sort out my headcanons over at Tumblr. (For now, this is it, though I may return to this collection if new ideas come to me).
> 
> Feel free to leave me comments/ideas, or drop me a line over at Tumblr where I'm @weareagentsofnothing https://weareagentsofnothing.tumblr.com/


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